Page 96 of You Know You Wanna

“I was supposed to be, but I just talked to my lawyer, so Dec said he’d handle the paperwork for the resort while I came to speak to you.”

It was late afternoon, but Laurene was with Cassidy and Heather for the night, so I was free. Birdie toyed with the hair at the nape of my neck for a moment before she sighed, took a step back, and motioned to her living area.

“Have a seat. Do you want something to drink?”

“Whatever you’ve got. Alcohol if you have it.” All the way over here, I’d been wondering how to tell her that I’d be leaving, but it was shaping up to be a harder conversation than I’d anticipated.

Birdie chuckled and held up a dusty bottle of whiskey in her kitchen. “I’m no Gracie, but I do have this. It’s old and it’s been open for a while, so it might taste like battery acid, but it’s here.”

“It’ll be just fine,” I said.

She pulled out two glasses and added a few cubes of ice to each before pouring two stiff shots of whiskey. She handed one over and kept her own as she settled in beside me. “What did the lawyer say? This is about you wanting sole custody, right?”

I took a large swig of what turned out to be really, really bad booze, and I winced. I swallowed it though, then leaned over to put my glass down and did the same with hers. “You don’t want to drink that. I’m pretty sure it’ll make you sick.”

She chuckled, but there was a sadness in her eyes that wrecked my soul. “I wasn’t going to drink it anyway. Just hold it so you wouldn’t feel alone. To be fair, I did warn you.”

“I know. I feel like I should’ve been the one to warn you, though,” I murmured, taking her hands and scooting closer to her. “Lulu and I were always only just tourists here. I know you know that and that we got together anyway, but we’ve never really talked about what would happen when I left.”

Color drained out of her cheeks and she swallowed hard. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, actually, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Then, when I was finally ready, there just never seemed to be a right time.”

“Yeah, we’ve been through a lot together this summer,” I said, linking my fingers through hers and bending my head to look deep into her eyes. “There’s no easy way to say this, but we’ll be leaving. Soon. My lawyer says that we can’t sort it out over the phone and the last thing I want to do is leave, but I have to do this for my daughter.”

I nearly choked on the words. Tears glimmered in her eyes. But how we felt didn’t change what I needed to do.

Birdie moved closer to me, placing her hand on my cheek. “I understand. To be honest, I don’t even just understand—I agree. You have to do this for her. You have to go, and you have to fight, and you can’t stop until you win.”

“I won’t,” I promised, leaning into her touch but keeping my eyes on hers. “Here’s the thing, though. I’m a pretty selfish guy. I’m trying really hard not to be so selfish anymore, and I’m going to go even if it’s last thing I want to do, but I can’t leave without telling you that I fell for you.”

“You fell for me?” she whispered as her brow furrowed. “As in, you fell in love with me?”

I shook my head and chuckled. “I know I shouldn’t have and I probably shouldn’t even have told you, but that’s where the selfishness comes in. I wanted you to know before I left that this wasn’t just a fling to me. I’m fucking in love with you.”

Her breath caught and more tears welled in her eyes. “You’re not selfish, Remington. I’m glad you told me. You have no idea how glad I am that you told me.”

“I hate having to leave you,” I whispered harshly, releasing her hands to wrap my arms around her shoulders. “It’s eating at me like you cannot believe, but I have to do it. I have to go.”

“I know,” she whispered back, holding me as tight and as closely as I was holding her.

Even though she understood and even though she didn’t seem pissed at me for having to leave, I could tell she was hurt. She was crying, for God’s sake. Crying while she told me that she knew I had to leave her.

She wasn’t throwing things at me or yelling that I should get out. She wasn’t accusing me of leading her on or anything like that.

Even through her own pain, she was supportive. Kind. Loving. I held her even closer, murmuring in her ear. “I’m sorry, Birdie. I’m so sorry. I’ll come back. As soon as I can, I’ll be here. I promise. I’m so sorry.”

I slid my mouth from her ear to her lips. She kissed me back, her tears salty on my lips, and she climbed into my lap, holding me and trying to soothe the hurt we were both feeling with her gentle, meaningful kisses. Earlier this year, I’d gotten divorced. Two years ago, I’d found out that my wife had been having an affair. I’d thought I knew the heartbreak that came with the end of a romantic relationship, but I’d been wrong.

I kissed Birdie, picked her up, and carried her to her bed. I felt like a tiger had gotten into my chest. It was ripping me apart piece by piece, tearing its razor sharp claws through my heart and leaving behind nothing but devastation.

My heart wasn’t just breaking. It was being completely shredded. And unless I wanted to pass this pain on to my daughter instead of taking it myself, there wasn’t a single damn thing I could do to stop it.

50

BIRDIE

Remington’s kisses acted like both a balm to my aching soul and an actual bomb, destroying it. My tears wouldn’t stop flowing as he laid me down on my bed, making love to me for the first time—which would also quite possibly be the last.

I got why he needed to leave. I really did. I also didn’t blame him for cutting his time here short so that he could go do what needed to be done for his daughter. It wasn’t even much of a surprise. I’d been expecting it to happen. I simply hadn’t known when.