Page 97 of You Know You Wanna

Yet, despite all that, part of me still wanted to rage at him. To blame him for ever kissing me that first time when we’d gotten caught in the rain. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be feeling like my heart had been blown to smithereens.

But the truth was that if that hadn’t happened, then the rest of the summer wouldn’t have either. I never would’ve gotten to know him or Laurene the way I had, and I couldn’t regret that. Not even now, when I was looking down the barrel of saying goodbye to them both.

At the same time, while he’d promised he would be back, he hadn’t said when. He also hadn’t asked me to go with them. I wouldn’t have been able to say yes, but it would’ve been nice to have received an invitation. Ultimately though, my life was here and his wasn’t. While neither of us had said this was the end, everyone knew long-distance relationships weren’t exactly built to last.

Maybe ours would be the rare exception to that rule, but right now, I couldn’t let myself think about the future. I couldn’t even let myself think about tomorrow. In fact, I wasn’t going to let myself think at all.

Determined to simply feel, I crushed my lips to his and kissed him harder than I ever had before, conveying my feelings with my body instead of my words. When he’d told me he was in love with me, it had been on the tip of my tongue to say it back.

Because I was in love with him too.

I loved him in a way I’d never loved before, but I couldn’t say it when I knew that we were also saying goodbye. My heart had refused to let me. Remington was doing what he needed to do, taking action to put things in motion so that he could live the life he wanted to live from here on out.

I had to do the same thing, but I hadn’t put things in motion yet, and until I knew how to do that, I couldn’t simply confess my love and hope for the best. But I also didn’t want him to think that what we had meant nothing to me, so I told him everything I needed to say with my lips, my hands, and my body.

Stripping off his clothes, I flung them away blindly, not caring where they landed. Once he was naked, I dragged my fingertips over every inch of him, memorizing the contours of his body and the smooth feel of his skin against my own.

He did the same thing to me, neither of us saying anything as we just touched and kissed, trying to get our fill before he was gone.

Before he’d knocked on my door, I’d been about to start dinner but I wasn’t hungry anymore. Not for anything but him. If tonight was our last night together, I didn’t want to do anything but be with him.

I rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. His hands flexed on my own, his pupils dilated and his lids heavy, and he looked up at me. “Birdie, I⁠—”

“Whatever it is,” I murmured, bending over to kiss him again. “Not now, okay? We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

“I might have to leave tomorrow,” he replied, agony flashing behind his eyes. He slid a hand around the nape of my neck and brought my mouth to his once more. “I’m so sorry, Birdie. I’m sorry I have to leave.”

Fresh tears pressed at the backs of my eyes, but I ignored them, simply kissing him back and murmuring against his mouth. “Shh, it’s okay. We’re going to be okay.”

With his huge length hot and hard between my legs, I was careful not to do anything that would get us in ever bigger trouble than we already were, but I couldn’t resist the urge to rub myself against him, moaning as pleasure exploded through the pain in my soul.

Remington groaned. His fingers tightened on me as his hips started rocking and his kisses became rougher. His voice was a coarse whisper. “God, what am I going to do without you? I’ll miss you, baby. Even when you don’t hear from me, I’m going to be missing you.”

“Same here,” I whispered, fighting tears even as pleasure knotted in my core. “Every minute you’re not here, I’m going to be thinking about you. Missing you. Prepare to get lots of pictures.”

“Make ‘em selfies,” he groaned, the muscles in his thighs tensing as he kept rocking his hips. “Throw in a few naughty ones too.”

I bit back a laugh, a shuddering moan escaping instead. “You’re on. As long as you promise to delete them as soon as you’ve seen them and to send me the same.”

“You got it,” he said. “I trust you.”

“Same.” Grinding against him, I realized that I was getting much too close, but I didn’t stop, choosing pleasure over the fear, the anger, and the hurt.

He reached between us, sliding a finger into me, and my muscles clamped down around it immediately. Growling, he started moving his hips faster and he pumped his finger in and out, nipping at my lips, my throat, and my shoulder.

“Come for me, Birdie. Come now. Come all over my cock so I can get inside you already.”

The first spasm of pleasure ripped through me at his words. He sealed his mouth over mine and swallowed every other sound I made hungrily, like he was keeping them all to himself. I came apart around him. My toes curled and my body shook as white-hot bliss covered me like a comforting blanket in the winter.

No matter what, he and I would always have this moment. This beautiful, intense moment and all the others like it, when the world had faded and our troubles had ceased to exist.

As the orgasm subsided, I realized I was crying again, but he didn’t ask, simply kissing away the tears. He rolled us over so he was on top. Those eyes were blazing into mine, and unless I was very much mistaken, there was a definite glint of possessiveness in them.

“I’m going to be faithful to you while I’m gone,” he promised. “I’m yours, Birdie. Unless and until you tell me otherwise, I’m yours.”

Cupping my palms around his throat, I nodded and smiled through the tears before I kissed him again. “There is no one else for me, Remington. I’m yours too.”

For the next couple hours, we proved it to each other over and over again. Then we made dinner at midnight and went back to bed, making love one last time before we fell asleep in each other’s arms. Early the next morning, I was woken up by the soft sound of him murmuring into his phone.