Page 58 of My All American Girl

25

SARAH

The rest of my fellow trainees and I stood on the tarmac, waiting to board our flight to Washington. There was a nervous excitement we all felt. We all knew we were going to get our asses handed to us. This would be the most physically and psychologically challenging part of our training. This was what would make or break each of us as pilots.

I had heard countless nightmares from those that made it and those that washed out. SERE training, otherwise known as survival, evade, resistance, and escape, was difficult for a reason. All my extra training with Dean had left me feeling in good physical shape, but I knew I had a slight disadvantage. I was easily the smallest person in our group. I needed to stay in a good headspace. There was always an end. I could suck it up and get through the hard stuff because I knew it would be over at some point. I knew I would have a hot meal, a hotter shower, and a comfortable bed once I got through hell.

We boarded our plane and settled in our seats. I glanced over at Kylee. Her knee bounced nervously, and she kept fidgeting with the edge of her seatbelt. “You okay?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.

Kylee forced a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Just thinking about all those stories. You know, the ones about survival training. How intense it’s going to be.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve heard my fair share of horror stories too. But hey, we’ve made it this far, right?”

Behind us, Clay and Rolley were engaged in their own conversation. I could hear Rolley’s confident tone as he tried to reassure Clay. Poor Clay had already made three trips to the bathroom to throw up. The anticipation was getting to all of us in different ways.

“Hey, guys.” I turned to face Clay and Rolley, forcing a smile, feeling the need to steady the churning sea of anxiety. “We’ve been through hard things before, right? It’s just like any other test. We go in, do our best, make it through.”

“But this one’s different,” Clay muttered, nervously tugging on his uniform. “They’re going to drop us in the middle of nowhere with nothing. That’s not like any test we’ve had before.”

“It’s designed to push our limits, sure,” I conceded. “But remember they have trained us to do this. We have to go into this knowing we’re going to kill it. Period. There is no room for failure.”

“I just don’t want to mess up,” Kylee said.

“You won’t,” I assured her, though I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease in my own stomach. “We’ve trained for this. We’re ready. We’re a team. We look out for each other, no matter what. We have to pull each other through.”

Kylee nodded and managed a small smile. “Yeah,” she said, her voice gaining a touch of confidence. “We’ve got this.”

“We should play a game,” Rolley suggested.

I rolled my eyes and snorted. “It’s not like we can see license plates.”

“Truth or Dare,” Clay suggested.

I immediately knew that was a bad idea. I had too many truths that I had to protect at all costs. “We’re not five,” I said. “How about Would You Rather?” I offered. That was easier to lie.

The suggestion was met with a mix of agreement and relief. Clay started first. “Okay, would you rather… be stuck in the wilderness alone without any survival tools for a week or have to navigate through enemy lines with nothing but a map and compass?”

Kylee guffawed, her nervousness momentarily replaced by disbelief. “Both options sound only marginally more fun than walking on hot coals, Clay.”

Ignoring her remark, we each pondered the question. I broke the silence first. “Wilderness,” I decided. “At least then there’s no actively hostile forces trying to kill me.”

“Agreed,” Rolley chimed in. “Being alone in the wilderness at least gives you the chance to figure out what you’re doing. Less variables to account for.”

Kylee nodded, still looking doubtful, but joining in nonetheless. “Sure, wilderness. I can handle solitude. It’s people that are the problem.”

Clay looked somewhat surprised at our collective agreement, not expecting us to choose the option of isolation so unanimously. He hesitated for a moment before finally nodding. “Yeah, wilderness it is,” he said, running a hand through his already mussed hair.

“Okay, nothing to do with survival stuff,” I said. “Would you rather lose the ability to read or never hear music again?”

Kylee’s eyes widened. “No fair! That’s like asking me to choose between breathing and eating!”

“Music, always,” Rolley shot back without hesitation. “I’d rather have silence than a world without words.”

Clay frowned, mulling over his options before finally saying, “Read. I’d miss music too much.”

We continued playing the game until there was an announcement overhead, bringing our attention back to the reality of our situation. We would arrive at our destination within the hour.

Everyone went quiet, the game forgotten as we all fell into our own thoughts. The cabin was filled with a palpable tension, each of us dealing with our fears in our own way. Clay chewed his lower lip, his fingers drumming restlessly on the armrest. Rolley leaned back in his seat, eyes closed and lips muttering prayers under his breath. Kylee looked like she was going to puke. I had to admit I was feeling the nerves. I looked out the window and could see the forest in the distance.