Page 60 of My All American Girl

26

DEAN

Iwalked into the bar with a feeling of dread. Mo had called me earlier and asked me to meet him for a drink. I thought he had already gone back to Colorado. I wasn’t sure how I was going to face the man. How was I going to look him in the eyes?

I felt like a liar and a fraud. When he called, the guilt had nearly been my undoing. I was convinced he knew. He knew I fucked his daughter and he wanted to meet me to kick my ass.

Mo was sitting down already, a drink in front of him. I couldn’t tell if it was a straight Coke or a Jack and Coke. “Dean,” he said when he saw me. He got to his feet and shook my hand. That was a good sign.

I took a seat and gestured for Jude to bring me a Coke as well. I had a feeling I wanted to keep my wits about me for this one.

“How’s it going?” I asked him, attempting to feel out the situation.

“Good.” He nodded. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you to Washington. I really hoped I could have you there on standby.”

Mo had tried to pull strings to get me to Washington for Sarah’s survival training, but it hadn’t worked. I was stuck here, in Columbus, pretending everything was fine. I knew he was worried about her. I wasn’t sure what he thought I was going to do. I had a feeling I was his surrogate. He wanted me there in case something went wrong. It didn’t happen often, but sometimes there were real injuries.

If Mo was pacing the base like a worried papa, it wouldn’t do her any good. And it would take away from his status as a general. People would see he did have a weak spot. He had to keep his personal and professional life separate. I knew it was killing him to treat her as just another airman.

“No worries,” I told him. “I’ve been spending some time with some of the other pilots. Have you heard from her?”

“No.” Mo took a long swig of his drink and sighed heavily. “She’s tough but survival training wreaks havoc on even the best of us. It nearly killed me.”

I nodded, memories of my own survival training flashing through my mind. The sleep deprivation, the hunger, the constant stress. It was designed to simulate real-life scenarios where you might be captured and tortured. I remembered feeling loopy from the lack of sleep, almost cracking during the simulated interrogation.

A lot of my friends washed out. I’d tried everything I could to help them, but it was a solo endeavor. You had to get through it alone.

“I know,” I said, my voice steady. “It’s brutal. But I’ve been watching her for weeks. She stands out. She’s skilled, intelligent, and, most importantly, an excellent problem solver. She has grit, Mo. She’ll get through it. That woman doesn’t know how to quit. Trust me, I’ve watched her puke while running. She does not stop.”

Mo sighed again, rubbing his temples. “I know she’s impressive. But she’s also my baby. I’d give up anything and everything for her. I just wish I could help her with this part.”

My gut twisted. He didn’t know the half of it. I was supposed to be the one looking out for her, but instead, I’d crossed lines I never should have. “She’s stronger than you think,” I said, trying to push the guilt aside. “She’s going to get battered and bruised and I would be willing to bet she’s going to laugh in the faces of those that try to break her.”

Mo gave a tight chuckle. “That’s my Sarah, alright. Stubborn and tenacious. You know, she’s a lot like her mother.” He raised his glass toward me in acknowledgement. I could see something in his eyes, a mix of vulnerability and pride.

“I think she believes she’s more like you,” I replied.

“Oh, I’ve got the grit and determination, but she gets that stubborn streak from her mother.”

It felt surreal sitting across from Mo, talking about Sarah. I just kept thinking about what he would do if he knew what had happened between us. He sure as hell wouldn’t be sitting down and having a drink with me.

Mo looked at me, his eyes filled with worry. “Do you know what’s on the program today? What Sarah might be doing?”

I hesitated before answering. I knew he wasn’t going to like the answer. “Capture evasion,” I said evenly.

Mo paled. “Right.”

The silence between us stretched out. I could see the pain in his eyes, the fear. He was trying to be strong, but it was killing him not to be able to protect her. After a moment, he shook his head and changed the subject. “How’s the bar doing?”

I welcomed the shift, needing to get my mind off Sarah and the guilt gnawing at me. “It’s good,” I said. “Busy as ever. Jude’s been a big help. He runs the place. I pop in once in a while.”

Mo nodded, though I could see his thoughts were still on Sarah. “Good, good. You two have built something solid here.”

I smiled, though it felt forced. “Yeah, we have. It’s been a lot of work, but it’s worth it.”

Mo’s phone buzzed, and he glanced at it. “Sorry, I need to take this,” he said, standing up and stepping outside to answer the call.

I watched him go, feeling a pang of guilt. Here he was, worried sick about his daughter, while I was keeping secrets from him. Secrets that could ruin everything.