Page 62 of My All American Girl

27

SARAH

Ileaned back against the wall, feeling the exhaustion settle deep into my bones. My body felt like it had been through a battlefield, bruised and battered from the brutal exercises of the day. I glanced at Kylee who was sprawled out on her bed. She looked just as worn. Tomorrow was another early morning, and I knew I should get in bed, but I didn’t want to move. I knew I was going to be stiff and sore if I crashed. I needed to do some stretching.

I pushed away from the wall and lifted one arm, then the other.

“How can you move?” Kylee groaned.

“If I don’t move, I’m going to turn into a stiff board,” I told her while doing some calf raises. “You should get up. You don’t want to be stiff tomorrow.”

“I already am,” she muttered.

“Join the club,” I responded with a wry smile, moving into a lunge.

Her only answer was a soft snore, signaling her descent into sleep. Shaking my head, I continued my routine, opting for silence rather than the low chatter of people in the halls. The training had been taxing. I needed to keep my thoughts straight. After the noise of training with the instructors trying to break me, I needed the quiet to get focused.

I was exhausted—more exhausted than I’d ever been in my entire life. Every muscle in my body ached, and my mind was foggy from sleep deprivation. We were halfway through survival training, and the thought of having to come back next year for continued training filled me with dread. This had been the most brutal part of my education so far. I wished I’d been better prepared, but at the same time, I knew this experience was forging me into something stronger. I’d done and endured things that had broken some of my peers. We’d already lost twenty percent of our class. Kylee was still standing, but Clay washed out, and though it broke my heart to see him go, I couldn’t lose sight of the finish line.

We all knew it was inevitable one of us would wash out. The statistics didn’t lie. I was naive enough to think we would somehow all make it.

There was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” I asked, not wanting to stop the yoga routine I moved into. I was never a yoga freak, but I was glad I had gone to a few classes. It helped me stretch and center.

“It’s Rolley.”

“Come in,” I said.

He walked in and sat down on Kylee’s bed. “How are you still standing?” Rolley asked me.

I chuckled. “Because if I stop, I don’t know if I’ll ever get up again.”

Rolley laughed. I couldn’t help but join in, even as every inch of my body screamed in pain. “You’ve got more guts than any of us, Sarah,” he said.

“I’m not sure if it’s guts or just stubbornness,” I admitted, lowering myself to the floor and crossing my legs. The stretch felt divine on my aching muscles.

Rolley sobered up a little. “How are you holding up?” he asked. There was genuine concern in his voice. We were all disappointed about losing Clay. Other things that happened in training were best left as memories. I wasn’t ready to put words to the experiences. That would come later.

“I’ll be fine,” I replied. “What about you?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, honestly. I go back and forth between asking myself if this is really worth it and telling myself it absolutely is.”

“I get it.” I nodded. “It’s a lot. But that’s what they want you to do. This is to prove we are committed to making it. We can’t have one foot in. We have to be all in. That’s why they push us to the point of breaking.”

“It sucks,” he muttered. He looked at Kylee who was still face down. “Is she okay?”

I smiled. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s exhausted.”

“I think I’m going to skip dinner and go to bed.”

Suddenly, a commotion down the hall broke the silence. We exchanged weary glances, trying to muster the energy to care.

“What now?” Kylee groaned, her voice muffled.

“Maybe someone found a hidden stash of snacks,” Rolley joked weakly, though his attempt at humor fell flat. “I could use some sugar. And ten beers.”

“That is the last thing you need right now,” I told him. “You need protein and carbs.”

“You sound like one of the instructors,” he retorted, though there was no heat in his words. We all knew we had to eat properly to keep our strength up. Drinking that first night had been a mistake.