Page 117 of Fake it for Keeps

35

COLT

The nightmare was the worst one yet.

Lauren’s face, pale and twisted in pain. The screech of tires that seemed to go on forever. My own voice screaming her name. And then—new this time—Hallie’s face replacing Lauren’s. Hallie lying broken on the pavement. Hallie’s eyes going empty.

I jolted awake with a yell caught in my throat. My heart was a jackhammer in my chest, trying to break ground. My hands were cramping, fingers curled into claws against the sheets. Sweat soaked through my T-shirt, cold and clammy.

I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt like someone had wrapped steel bands around it and was tightening them slowly, methodically, until my lungs couldn’t expand. Panic clawed at my throat.

Breathe. Just breathe.

But I couldn’t. The room was spinning. My thoughts were racing with fragmented images of Lauren and Hallie, of loss and pain, and everything I’d spent years trying to bury.

Hallie. The thought of her cut through the panic like a knife.

What if something had happened to her? What if she’d done something reckless? What if she was hurt?

I’d lost the first love of my life. I couldn’t lose another.

No. I wasn’t thinking about Hallie that way. I couldn’t. She’d lied to me. Used me. Planned to destroy me.

But fuck, I still loved her.

And the terror flooding through me at the thought of something happening to her was visceral and overwhelming and completely beyond my control. There was no way I was going to be able to function until I knew she was okay.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand with shaking hands. It wasn’t quite four. She’d be asleep. I shouldn’t call.

But dammit, the feeling in my chest wasn’t going away. And fuck it. She deserved to lose a little sleep.

I called anyway.

It rang once. Twice. Three times.

Pick up. Please pick up.

I didn’t realize how desperately I needed her to answer. How urgent it was. I felt like I was suffocating. I would not be able to draw a full breath until I heard her voice.

“Hello?” Her voice was thick with sleep, confused. “Colt, are you alright?”

Relief crashed through me so hard I had to close my eyes. She was okay. She was alive.

“Colt, talk to me. Are you okay?”

I realized I hadn’t said anything. Was just sitting there in the dark, breathing hard, trying to get my heart rate under control.

“I’m fine,” I finally managed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You’re not fine.” Her voice had changed, becoming more alert. More concerned. I could picture her sitting up in bed with her hair wild around her face. “What happened? Is someone hurt?”

“No. Nothing like that.” I ran a hand through my sweat-dampened hair. “I just… I had another nightmare. And I needed to make sure you were okay.”

Silence stretched between us.

“You called to check on me?” she asked softly.

“Yeah.”