Page 118 of Fake it for Keeps

“At four in the morning.”

“Yeah.” I laughed without humor. “It was a bad dream.”

More silence. “Do you want me to stay on the phone with you? Until you fall back asleep?”

Everything in me wanted to say yes. I wanted to let her voice ground me the way it always did. But accepting comfort from her felt like weakness. Like giving in.

“No,” I said. “You should go back to sleep. I’m okay. Really. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t having some kind of psychic vision.”

“Colt.” Her voice was gentle but firm. “You called me at four in the morning because you had a nightmare and needed to make sure I was alive. You’re not okay. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be okay right now.”

My throat tightened. “Hallie⁠—”

“I know what I did. I know I hurt you. I know you probably hate me right now, and you have every right to.” She paused. “But I also know you’re not okay. And I can at least be here for this, even if I can’t fix the rest of it.”

I should hang up. Should tell her I didn’t need anything from her. That she’d done enough damage.

But I didn’t.

Because she was right. I could use a friend right then, even a friend like her.

“Frankie told you,” I said. Not a question.

“About Lauren? Yes.” Hallie’s voice was thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Colt. For what happened to her. For what you went through. I can’t even imagine.”

“Then don’t.” The words came out harsh. Angry. “Don’t imagine it. Don’t try to understand it. Just… don’t.”

“Okay.”

I was angry that Frankie had told her. Furious, actually. That was my story to tell. My pain to share or not share as I chose. How many more times was I going to have to relive that night? How many more people were going to know the worst moment of my life?

But even as anger coursed through me, Hallie’s voice cut through it. Calm. Gentle. Not pushing, not demanding. Just there.

“I wish I’d known sooner,” she said quietly. “About Lauren. About what you’ve been carrying. It doesn’t excuse what I planned to do, or what you did to me back then, but I would have understood better. Why you are the way you are. Why opening up is so hard for you.”

“I’m not looking for understanding.”

“I know. But you have it anyway.” She paused. “What I did, what I planned to do… it was vindictive. It was born from the hurt of a teenage girl who never properly dealt with her feelings. And it was wrong.”

I didn’t respond. Couldn’t.

“I’m embarrassed,” she continued. “Ashamed, really. If I could go back and do it all differently, I would. I’d tell you the truth from the beginning. I’d be honest about why I recognized you. I would tell you that seeing you again brought up all these old feelings. I’d give you the choice about whether you wanted to work with me knowing our history.”

“Would you have signed the contract if you could go back?” I asked. “Knowing how it would end?”

She was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t know. Part of me wants to say no, that I’d save us both the pain. But another part of me? Colt, being with you these past weeks, even with how it ended, has been some of the happiest times of my life. So I honestly don’t know.”

My chest ached. I wanted to believe she was the person I believed her to be. I was certain I knew Hallie, even if she had fooled me initially. There was no faking that connection.

No one was that good.

“I’ve seen you wake from your nightmares,” she said. “I’ve watched the way they affect you, even when you try to hide it. I know you’re still haunted by what happened to Lauren. And I’m so, so sorry that what I did made it worse. That I made you think it was safe to love again and then proved that it wasn’t.”

“Lauren died when I was nineteen, but we had known each other most of our lives. We were good friends, but it wasn’t until, well, after you that she and I got together.”

“I’m sorry. Frankie said⁠—”

“Frankie got it wrong. Or I got it wrong. I don’t know.” I leaned back against the headboard, suddenly exhausted. “It doesn’t matter.”