Page 117 of Luci’s Lullaby

I hear a cry in the distance, calling me back to the here and now. Her little whimper needing someone, needing me. I reach out to find Walker’s hand. Standing, I stagger in to find Luci.

Her little face lights up and her eyes sparkle when she sees me. I feel the same way. I rush to her, taking her from Emerson.

“Shhhh, baby girl. I’m here.” I press her into my chest, allowing her heart to beat for mine.

I’m not sure how long I hold her, but when I finally pull myself together, she’s asleep. She snubs, breaking my heart. Her pouty lips, as red and puffy as her eyes.

“Thank you, Charlee.” Emerson stands beside me, arms wrapped around her. “We’ve tried for hours to get her to quit.”

“You should’ve called.”

“We didn’t think you wanted to be around her anymore, Walker says.

Lost in the moment, I crash into the here and now. “I walked away from Alden, not Luci. I may not have done it right, but I love her. We don’t throw away people we love.”

Reese drops into the seat behind her in tears. “I tried to tell him. I begged him to stay and talk to you.”

“To who, me?”

She nods. “Yes, Charlee. He loves you. He may not say it or show it, but I know him and he loves you.”

“I can’t save him, Reese.” I drag in a deep breath. “You can’t save him. Even Luci can’t do it. He has to want it. He has to want us more than anything else. That’s the only thing that will save him, if he saves himself.”

Emerson puts her arm around me as I cradle Luci, giving her everything I have because now, we’re more kindred than ever before. She snubs, and I rub her back.

“It’s okay, my daddy left me too. We’ll get through it.” I kiss her head, letting her know how much I love her.

“I’ve never seen him so lost.” Reese rubs her hands together.

The memory of the day his parents died comes to mind. He was so strong when people were watching. It’s when they weren’t that he fell apart. “I’ve seen it before. He never recovered, he just played the part.”

“His parents death.” A line forms between Reese’s brows.

“And in the days after Cidney and Shelley’s death. He held on so strong, it was obvious he was walking blind.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“He told me and Aksel that his life was proof enough he can’t keep love.” Walker trots his knee.

“Y’all, this isn’t anyone’s fault.” My voice trembles with every word. “Alden chose this and until he’s had enough, no one can make him fix it.”

“I can’t believe it.” Reese dries her face. “The Alden I know may have been struggling, but I never saw this coming.”

“I was foolish enough to think my leaving would wake him up. I called that wrong, didn’t I?”

“We all thought he would come after you,” Emerson says.

The last piece of my heart breaks, and I fight to breathe. “After all I’ve been through, I was still looking in the wrong place for love.”

“No, Charlee.” Walker looks at me. “He was.”

“Good mornin’, baby girl.” I crawl from my bed and stretch as Luci babbles in her crib.

“Charlee Rae,” Mom calls from the kitchen, “her food is ready.”

I lean over the side and pick her up, smothering her with kisses. “Mae has you some yummy breakfast. Let’s go see what she made.”

I carry Luci through the house and sit down at the table with her. She yawns, and it’s hard not to giggle at all of her little faces and sounds. Mom sets some oatmeal cereal down for her, and she smacks her lips.