Page 90 of Drive Me Crazy

Day turns to night, and I drag myself across the floor and into bed. I breathe him in, begging for all of it to go away. With each passing minute, I'm faced with the fact that life is fleeting and to live... I must face it and fight.

Morning dawns, and still I lay here in my defeat. A war I started and need to win. But I've never been good at defending myself. Although, this foe is unlike my others.

I'm my own worst enemy. I created this monster, so I need to be the one to slay it. Coming to terms with the next few months will be hard, but at least Ridge won't have to pay for it.

"Harper Blaine! Where are you?" As though the slamming door wasn't enough to get my attention, the voice of my pissed off mother is. "Tell me right now, young lady!"

I toss the covers back over my head, sinking into the mattress in hopes she won't find me. Again, the sound of doors slamming echo all over the house.

"She's in their bedroom!" Emerson screams, while ripping away my fort of protection. "What in the hell, Harper?"

"You're pregnant?" Scout yells as she bursts through the door, followed by mom, Mackenzie and Maisyn.

Mackenzie leans against the closet door, purposely not looking at me. "Y'all, this ain't gonna help her."

"Nothing can." I mumble, forcing myself to sit up in the middle of the bed.

"Why in the hell wouldn't you tell us?" Mom plops down beside me, waiting on my answer.

Emerson is livid, that's evident by her pacing. "So, when I was taking you to those doctor appointments, it was for this?"

"Yes." I bite my lip, fisting my hair. "I seriously can't do this right now."

"But you damn well think my brother can?" Em crosses her arms, staring at me for answers, I don't have right now and maybe never will.

"I was scared, Em." I clinch my chest as my heart breaks into tiny pieces. "How I could I come back, ask him to not only forgive me but to love me again. After the way we ended before, I knew I had no right to ask him for forever."

I spring from the bed, rushing toward the door. I spin around, mirroring my world. Stopping abruptly to speak all my truths. "I love him! So much so, that I could never ask him to love me and the child of a monster like Weston. The man who not only threatened Ridge's life, but my own.

"He leveraged us against the other, I never wanted him, and he knew that. I've loved Ridge from the time I was ten years old and got lost in his soul. I want so much for this to be Ridge's baby. I can't ask him to be its father, when it could be the same monster Weston was." I fall to the floor, praying I die.

Emerson is to me before anyone else can be. "Oh, Harp. He could never not love you or your baby. You're his entire world. Why would you ever think he wouldn't stand by you?"

"I couldn't ask him to, Em. It isn't fair." I sob as she sways with me in her arms.

"It's as if you know nothing about him." Mackenzie shakes her head in disbelief. "Isn't the reason you fell in love with him was because he loved you unconditionally?"

"Why wouldn't you at least tell us? Don't you know, we're here for you. There's absolutely no limit to our love." Mom takes my hand, holding it to her heart. "You're my baby, I'll love you no matter what life hands us."

Maisyn dabs her eyes with a tissue. "Kinda like another fella we all know, loves you with his entire being."

"I can't, not with everything Weston put us through. I wanted to forget, and I ran. The day I left; I knew this baby's only chance was to leave."

"Did he know?" Mom's frown deepens.

I shake my head. "No, I hid it from him. Another reason I'm so small, I couldn't tell him. He made me abort one early in our marriage and beat me until I miscarried another.

"It's not because it's his baby I wanted to protect it, but because it's a part of me. I want this baby; my only regret is that Ridge isn't its father."

"Only because you won't let him be." Mackenzie winces with her words. "Sorry."

"You’re fine, she needs to hear it." Mom smirks. "He's the reason we're here."

I search her face. "Who is?"

"Ridge," Scout joins me on the floor. "he thought you'd need us."

"Why would he do this, after everything he knows?" I rub the crease in my forehead.