Page 91 of Drive Me Crazy

"Love," Mackenzie's tears fall freely. "he's never wanted anything more or anyone else."

I shrug. "Even if I don't deserve him?"

"As Lea once said, 'what do we deserve, if not love'." Mom kisses the back of my hand.

"She's good." Maisyn nods. "As a matter of fact, I think a talk with her would do you good."

"But first," Scout raises her brows. "a baby shower!"

Without warning, my tears fall again. "We don't deserve one."

"Hell, everybody needs a shower and even if it's just us, it'll be great! Besides, I left Ridge scrolling through baby items on his phone. Baby Jennings will want for nothing." Mackenzie winks at me.

"I don't understand." I hang my head in shame.

Maisyn wraps me and Emerson in her arms. "Nothing to figure out, we love you all."

"By the way, how far along are you?" Scout's brows pull low.

I bite and release my bottom lip. "Eight months."

"Come again?" She leans in, pretending she didn't hear me.

I roll my eyes. "I'm small but the baby's healthy. I've been wearing leggings and Ridge's shirts; they cover a multitude of sins."

"Alright. Wow." Mackenzie blinks, staring at Maisyn.

"He was right on the dot." Maisyn snickers.

Mackenzie half shrugs. "He's been practically a midwife; I suppose he should know."

"Ridge guessed how far along she is?" Emerson's eyes widen. "I guess he does know your body good."

"Oh, my god!" I bury my face in my hands.

Scout pats my knee. "Don't be embarrassed. We've all been in the room with you two and see the way he looks at you."

"It's to be expected." Mom giggles.

"So, what now?" I huff.

Maisyn laughs. "We've got this, you need to give birth and get that man back."

"I'd rather have a dry birth than to face him again."

"No, you wouldn't." Mom pushes my hair behind my ear. "Get up, shower, and be the strong and courageous woman that we all know you are."

I release my nail from my teeth. "I can't face him, not yet."

"Alright, there's plenty of time to figure it out." Mom kisses the top of my head, as Emerson helps me out of the floor.

I love him, but I can't ask him to do this, to help clean up the mess I've created. Not today, or even in the foreseeable future. I have to face the hard truth, I've lost Ridge.