Page 82 of Touch of Class

Daphne scoffed softly. “‘Not unaffected.’ What a way with words you have.”

The corners of Gillian’s lips quirked up slightly. “You’re the one who always had a flair for poetics. How would you describe what you’re feeling?”

Daphne thought for a moment, her grasp on the English language suddenly insufficient to her cause. All she could come up with was a simple, “Shaken.”

A horn sounded outside, stealing their attention, but when Gillian turned back to her, there was a seriousness to her eyes that hadn’t been there before. “Someone told me tonight that some things are worth being shaken for.”

Her breath caught. “And?”

Gillian smiled again, this time fully. “For me, this is one of those things.”

Daphne’s heart pounded in her throat so hard she could only nod and squeeze out one word. “Go.”

Gillian mercifully heeded the direction, but Daphne didn’t follow her out. Instead, she numbly walked the few steps back to her own space. Pushing open the door, she collapsed onto the bed and screamed into a pillow.

Eighteen

“That was amazing,” Tegan said as Sawyer held open the flap of a plastic igloo for them all to tumble inside.

Gillian staggered slightly across the threshold, her feet not yet used to hitting flatly on solid ground after an hour of ice skating at Buffalo’s Canalside district. She fell gratefully, if not gracefully, into a cushy chair draped in fluffy blankets as her friends did the same all around her.

“Wow, the igloo looks flimsy from the outside, but they’ve thought of everything.” Brooke burrowed into her own end of a blanket and held up the other side for Tegan to snuggle in with her.

“They even have a ‘fireplace’ going.” Sawyer put air quotes around “fireplace” as there was no actual fire, but what it lacked in authenticity it made up for in heat.

“And best of all, we already ordered our first round of drinks,” Robin announced. “Hot chocolate for me, Teegs, and Sawyer, and mulled wine for Brookesy and the boss.”

“If I’d known there was a warm cocoon with mulled wine delivery, I would’ve skipped the skating and come right to the igloo,” Brooke lamented.

“Which is why we didn’t tell you.” Sawyer laughed.

“Besides,” Tegan added, “if you’d skipped the skating, you would’ve missed Sawyer’s epic jump.”

Sawyer shook their head. “The jump may’ve been epic, but I assure you it was unplanned. I’m glad I landed on my feet, or my skates, instead of flattening the tiny child who darted out in front of me!”

“But you hurdled him like a champ.” Robin kissed them soundly, and Gillian glanced away. Her nerve endings and synapses were all still too overloaded to process intimacy. She’d been dissociating all night, and she was aware enough to understand that was a problem. Despite having these plans sprung on her without warning, this would’ve normally been the type of outing she enjoyed. Pairing something mildly athletic with people she adored in the heart of the city she loved, followed by mulled wine and lively conversation ticked all her boxes for social interactions.

And yet she wasn’t even there. Not really. Not the way she’d been present with Daphne earlier. Not even the way she’d been present with Izzy or Lauren at fencing.

She felt like she was floating outside of herself, watching her friends from afar or catching snippets of a distant conversation.

Then again, there were moments when she felt too in her body to function, moments when the brush of her own clothes against sensitive skin felt reminiscent of Daphne’s hand slipping under her shirt. How was it possible to be entirely detached and still so painfully aware all at once?

“Earth to Gillian,” Sawyer called through the haze.

She glanced up to see them holding out a mug for her to take.

“Sorry. Thank you.”

“You okay?” Brooke sipped from her own steaming cup.

“Yes, just in my own reflections.”

“Dissecting your post-skating performance reel in that big brain of yours?” Robin asked lightly.

“Something along those lines.”

“Once the team captain, always the team captain,” Tegan said, then turned back to Robin. “This hot chocolate is amazing. Thank you for organizing tonight.”