Page 116 of Before We Break

I don’t wait for an answer, wrapping my hand around the doorknob and pushing it open. She’s sitting on the floor in the exact position I was in only seconds ago, only she has a pregnancy test clutched in her fist and two more lined up on the countertop with positive results visible on each one.

“What do I do?” she asks on a quiet sob.

“The only thing you can do, baby girl. You make a choice.”

“What about Hayden? Shouldn’t I ask him what he wants?”

“Sure. But not before you’ve made the choice for yourself. Do you want this baby? Do you want to be a mom?”

She doesn't say anything for a long while.

“You don’t have to decide right now. Maybe the first step is to get off the bathroom floor.”

She lets out a watery laugh and takes my outstretched hand. We walk back to the living room where Noah’s sitting on the couch with his elbows draped over his knees. He looks ready to fight the world if need be, and I love him for it.

I love him for it.

I… love him.

Shit. Now is not the time to have this revelation, Clio.

He meets my gaze, and before he says anything, I nod. He mouths the words, “we’ll be ok,” and my heart latches onto that simple statement like a lifeline. He said we, and in that moment I know one thing for certain.

I love him.

And if loving him means losing him in the end, I’ll take that risk every time because it’s worth it. He is worth it.

NOAH

Being brave in the face of adversity has been my default setting since my parents died. I was the strong, reliable brother. While everyone around me was falling apart, I held it together. Knowing how much Lexi and Clio need me now, I’ll gladly take on that role again. I can be their strength while the walls start crumbling around them.

Lexi slumps onto the opposite end of the couch, and Clio takes the middle.

I rest my hand on Clio’s thigh to draw her attention. “Are either of you hungry? I could make us something to eat?”

Clio shakes her head. “Lex? Are you hungry?”

She sniffles. “Can I get that ice cream now?”

I reach behind Clio and run my hand down Lexi’s hair. “You can have anything you want, kid.”

I grab the pint of her favorite ice cream from the freezer and jab a spoon into the top, wrapping a dish towel around the bottom so it’s not cold on her hands. I return to the living room and hand it to her.

“Thanks, Noah.”

Taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Clio, I cup her jaw. “What do you need?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

She places her hands over mine and closes her eyes. Neither of us says anything for a long while. It’s Lexi who breaks through the silence.

“I think I want to keep it.”

I should probably leave. This feels like a conversation between mother and daughter. “I have to pick up Auggie. Are you good?”

“We’ll be fine.”