Page 120 of Fame & Chaos

She studies me carefully. “Do you remember any of it?”

I stare at the ceiling. “Honestly? Not a thing.”

“I knew you were drunk when I came over.” She winces while rubbing her temple. “Didn’t realize quite how drunk, though. Shame you can’t remember it. It was a wild night.”

I close my eyes so tightly it hurts.

Please kill me.

“One I definitely won’t forget anytime soon,” she adds with a smirk. “Even through the haze.”

I genuinely consider smashing my own head against the bedside table.

“Hey.” She nudges my arm lightly. “Don’t beat yourself up. We had fun. Even if you did keep calling me Indi.”

My stomach fucking drops.

“But I didn’t mind,” she continues casually. “I got to have you, and she didn’t. Lucky me.” She pushes the blankets aside and climbs out of bed completely naked before disappearing into the ensuite.

The bathroom door clicks shut.

And I finally let myself spiral.

You fucking idiot, Caleb.

How could I possibly be this stupid?

I scrub both hands over my face before pulling on my joggers and pacing around the room like I have completely lost any sanity I may have had.

Nothing helps.

Nothing stops the guilt from chewing straight through me.

I can’t even stand being in this room anymore.

Walking out to the living room, I collapse onto the couch before burying my face in my hands.

I feel like an absolute bellend.

No.

Worse.

A total fucking wankstain.

And the worst part?

Indi was right to be worried.

This is exactly the kind of shit she’s terrified of…

Me with other women.

Me losing control.

Me proving I can’t be trusted.

Even though I know this wasn’t me.