Page 121 of Fame & Chaos

Not really.

I hardly ever drink, and when I do, apparently I make catastrophically bad decisions.

So that’s it.

No more getting drunk.

Ever.

Because if I want any chance with Indi, I need to prove I can be the kind of man she deserves.

A one-woman man.

And I know I can be.

I would be anything for her if she’d just let me.

A few minutes later, Sasha walks out fully dressed, thank fuck.

She sits beside me on the couch cautiously. “So… about last night—”

“A mistake,” I cut in instantly. “You should leave.” I don’t even look at her while I say it because the last thing I want is to accidentally give her the wrong idea about whatever the hell last night was.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see her bite her lip before nodding. “Okay. Sure.” She grabs her handbag from the coffee table and stands. “Walk me out?”

I sigh heavily before forcing myself upright and following her to the front door. The second I open it, she smiles, leans in, and kisses my cheek softly, and I tense immediately.

Another mental punch straight to my own face.

“Can we do this again sometime?” she asks.

Just like they always do.

“I don’t think so,” I reply flatly, refusing to meet her eyes.

She gives a small laugh and places her hand briefly on my chest. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Caleb. We had a good night. It is what it is.” Then she kisses my cheek again and walks away.

The second she’s gone, I slam the door shut and lean heavily against it, bowing my head while trying to breathe through the self-loathing clawing through me.

I’m so fucking angry.

And I’ve got nobody to blame except myself.

Sasha only came over because I must have called her.

Sure, I don’t remember doing it, but how else would she know where I live?

This is so unbelievably fucked up.

Maybe Indi really is better off without me.

Because if I’m serious about proving I can be loyal to her, sleeping with another woman the second things get hard is definitely not the way to fucking do it.

The guilt sitting in my chest is making me feel physically ill.

I was supposed to have Indi last night, and because I got frustrated, horny, drunk, and impatient, I let somebody else take her place instead of waiting.

Delayed gratification exists for a reason, you absolute moron.