Page 125 of Fame & Chaos

Yes.

Completely.

But the pain I carry has always been stronger than hope, and right now it’s the only thing keeping me grounded enough to see reality clearly.

Caleb and I cannot work.

No matter how badly I wish we could.

My hands shake while I grab my cell phone from my bag and type out two simple words before hitting send through blurred vision and broken sobs.

Me: I can’t.

Chapter Twenty-One

Caleb

Sweat drips down the back of my neck as I finally start coming down from the high of performing. Playing live always lights me up from the inside out, but tonight the adrenaline was next level.

The band absolutely killed it.

Every song hit hard, the crowd was wild, and as I jump down from the stage after the final number, my heart still racing from the buzz of it all.

Annie and Aston were incredible. Hell, the whole band is finally starting to click properly. Everything just felt right up there.

Even with the chaos in my head.

Because through the entire performance, one person stayed in the back of my mind the whole damn time.

Indi.

She would have received the flowers by now.

The note too.

And I’m hoping like hell she’s messaged me while I’ve been onstage so I can finally call her back once I get into the green room. Despite the hangover clinging to me most of the day, I actually feel lighter after performing. Being onstage always burns the bullshit out of my system.

Not all of it, though.

Because this morning, after Sasha left, I changed my sheets straight away and stood beneath the shower for nearly an hour trying to scrub the guilt from my skin.

Didn’t fucking work.

I’ve never felt dirtier in my life than I did waking up beside her. Not because there’s anything wrong with Sasha, but because it should have been Indi in my bed.

Indi beneath me.

Indi in my arms.

And hopefully, she isn’t working tonight because all I want after this show is to go straight to her place and finish what we started. I want her in every possible way, and I need her to be mine.

Maybe the flowers and the note were too much, but after last night and the disaster with Sasha, I need Indi to understand how serious I am about her.

How much I love her.

Because whatever happened with Sasha can never happen again.

Ever.