Page 234 of Fame & Chaos

We stay on the phone for hours that night, talking about tour schedules, time zones, video calls, visits—anything to make the distance feel smaller.

This has to work.

What we have is worth fighting for. Worth waiting for.

And before we finally hang up, I ask her to marry me again.

Usually, she laughs and says no.

But this time, she pauses softly and says, “Maybe.” Then she tells me to ask again in six months.

***

The plane ride to Belfast was intense. I was exhausted after being on the phone with Indi for most of the night, and Annie was an emotional wreck after everything that happened yesterday. I heard through the grapevine that she officially ended things with Aston, and honestly, I have no idea what she’s thinking. They were happy. Really happy. I never saw this coming, and now I’ve got no clue how it’s going to affect the band, let alone Annie’s mental health.

If she genuinely believes she isn’t worthy of love, then how the hell is she supposed to get through life carrying that around? She needs help, real help, and I hate that all of this has surfaced right as our first world tour is beginning. I want her okay. I want Aston okay, too. The guy is hopelessly in love with her, and now she’s shutting him out completely.

I know exactly how that feels.

I remember what it did to me when Indi walked away. It hollowed me out from the inside, and I don’t want Aston spiraling the way I did. I need to make time to check on him because right now he’s pretending he’s fine, but I can see in his eyes that he is devastated.

This whole situation is messy as hell.

Inter-band relationships are dangerous enough without heartbreak getting thrown into the mix.

Tonight we’re performing, and Annie has already decided to switch stage positions, supposedly to make things ‘less awkward,’ but honestly, I think it just confirms how badly this has shaken her. Hopefully, everyone can still work together without it becoming a complete disaster.

I pray this tour isn’t falling apart before it’s even properly begun.

Chapter Forty-Two

Caleb

The tour is going smoothly so far. Well, as smoothly as anything can be with Annie spiraling, Aston miserable as hell and barely speaking to anyone, Anna and Dee constantly arguing over how to handle their kids’ ‘separation,’ and me missing Indi so much it physically hurts.

Annie and Aston being apart like this is causing a divide between all of us. As much as I don’t want to pick sides, I feel sorry for Aston because, while I can understand Annie’s warped reasoning, none of it is logical. I think she’s throwing something amazing away because she’s scared, and in the process, she’s making life difficult for everyone around her. Don’t get me wrong, I love her. She’s my cousin, and I’ll support her no matter what, but I honestly think she’s making the wrong decision, and I’m slowly watching Aston give up on everything.

He puts on a brave face whenever she’s around because he doesn’t want her to feel guilty, but behind closed doors, the guy is dying inside. More than once, he’s come to me completely broken, asking what the hell he’s supposed to do. I’ve tried talking to Annie, but nothing gets through to her. Nothing we say seems to matter. She’s drowning in her own agony and doesn’t realize she’s the one pulling herself under.

I hate watching it happen.

I keep talking to Indi about it, and she says the only thing we can really do is get Annie some psychological help, but that’s easier said than done when you’re traveling the world every second night. Dee’s handling it the best she can, and as soon as we land back in London, Annie’s going to see one of the best psychiatrists in England. She needs help, and right now, all any of us can do is be there for her whenever she lets us close enough.

On a happier note, two months into the tour it was Indi’s and my first anniversary, and I wanted to surprise her properly. Luckily, the anniversary fell during a two-day break, so I arranged with Kenzi to have Indi rostered off. I flew home and turned up on her doorstep with nothing but flowers and an overnight bag.

The second she opened the door and saw me standing there after two months of endless Zoom sex, late-night calls, and missing each other so badly it hurt, she burst into tears. I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around her, and we stood there in the doorway for what felt like forever while she cried against my chest and I held onto her like she might disappear if I let go.

The rest of the night, though?

That was spent naked in her bed.

She was so damn happy that I’d flown home just for her, and honestly, seeing that look on her face made every second on a plane worth it. I took her out the next day and bought her a necklace with a diamond-encrusted heart and a silver infinity symbol threaded through the middle. It suited Indi perfectly—delicate, beautiful, meaningful. Our love wrapped in infinity.

Being apart was hard, but we were making it work. We talked every day. She was doing well at work, the tour was going well despite all the drama, and things between us somehow kept getting stronger, not weaker.

Leaving her again after the anniversary nearly killed me, but once I’d done the flight home and back, it made the distance feel less impossible. I knew I could see her whenever we had breaks, and she could come to me whenever she wanted.

Zoom became our lifeline. Most nights, I’d stay on the call until she fell asleep, just listening to her soft breathing through the speaker until I was too exhausted to stay awake myself.