Page 45 of Hilarina and the Ogre

Poor Albert was still coughing. Some of the soda must have gone down the wrong pipe. But Hilary couldn’t spare any sympathy for the man. Not when he was determined to die.

He fled to his room, throwing himself down on his bed with the intention of suffocating himself there in the blankets, somehow still furious at just how long it took Trenton to come after him to be yelled at.

“You don’t even love me!”

Trenton was on him in a moment, the full breadth of that chest at his back as he gathered in the humiliated burrito, all that was left of his friend. “If I loved you any more than I do already, it would kill me.”

As if Hilary had any space for worthless sentiments. “Die, then!”

He could hear the amusement in Trenton’s voice. “Should I not have said it?”

What a fuck of a question. “What’s wrong with your head? Is it full of rocks? Is that it?”

“It’s full of you. I told you already—you make me stupid.”

“Stupid doesn’t begin to cover it!”

Trenton tried to twist his face around. “I think I’m starting to get it. What you mean by banter. It’s exciting.”

“Who the fuck is bantering? This is a lecture! A one-sided strafing!”

Trenton flipped him over and pinned his hands. “Then set me on fire.”

The kiss did seem to burn. Maybe it was a mistake to open his mouth. He didn’t think that was too whoreish. It wasn’t like he was using his tongue or anything. But it was different to have Trenton’s breath in his mouth, to feel as much as hear the desperation in him as they clutched at each other, every kiss rushing into the next in a mess of urgency, again with that stupid feeling of not being close enough.

Albert had to clear his throat twice for them to hear it, and then Hilary was kneeing Trenton in the groin to shove him off.

“Yes?”

“I said dinner is ready,” the man repeated, and then added, “You know, if you need privacy, you can just shut the—”

“WE’LL BE RIGHT DOWN.”

He hit Trenton again once Albert’s footsteps had faded. “Now look what you did!”

Trenton was entirely unrepentant. He was doing that smug grinning again. “They’ve seen us kiss before.”

“It was different then!”

“Why? They knew about your feelings even before I did.”

It was the last thing Hilary wanted to contemplate, even as a part of him recognized the truth in it. Was he fated to be always surrounded by damned omniscient mind-readers?

It was hard to think of a Christmas present. Hilary didn’t have much experience with gift giving, especially with people his own age, and especially for someone so important. His parents were no help, of course. “Just give him one of those coupon books you make,” Albert said. “He’ll love it.”

Hilary couldn’t believe the level of incompetence he was forced to deal with. “It can’t be something stupid. I need to get him something nice.”

“How about an outing?” Annette said. “Experiences are more memorable than things are. You could go out to dinner, or maybe a concert. We don’t mind spotting you a little extra if you need cash to cover it.”

It was a nice thing for them to say, but it still didn’t get him anywhere. “Trenton doesn’t like restaurants. He thinks people look at him while he eats. And he doesn’t like loud places either.”

“Concerts don’t have to be loud. How about ballet? They’re putting on a production—”

“Then he’ll think the present is for me!”

“Besides,” Albert added, “he likes ballet because of Hilary. Maybe if he were giving the performance. Actually, that’s a great idea. Annette, why don’t we—”

“Forget it. I’ll think of something myself.”