Page 86 of Haunted Spurs

Susan slowly turns her head toward him. Her eyes are two lethal slits. "How dare you?" she hisses, her voice dangerously low. "And besides, pray tell... what the hell was that comment you spat out earlier supposed to mean: I am visually more suited?!"

Emerson sighs with academic exasperation, looking like he's speaking to a stubborn child. He waves a hand vaguely in her direction. "I simply mean that you clearly have the physique of a... sturdy farm girl. I mean, you are solidly built. I, on the other hand, am leaner. Structurally aerodynamic for thinking, not for pulling ropes in the mud."

The silence lasts for one second. Then the bomb goes off.

Susan half-rises from the couch, fuming with rage, pointing a red-lacquered nail a millimeter from his nose.

"Farm girl?! Me?!" she screams, the veins in her neck throbbing. "You are nothing but a useless, good-for-nothing beanpole! You couldn't lift a feather even if your miserable, my-ass-scientist life depended on it!"

Emerson recoils against the armrest, his eyes going wide, but he doesn't back down: "Your aggression only confirms my empirical thesis!"

"I'll shove your empirical thesis right up your—"

[BLACK SCREEN – CENSORED]

ELM HOLLOW GAZETTE

Local News, Mild Scandals, and Absolutely Essential Truths

by Francis Grande

(Reporter and Proud Witness of Clandestine Backstage Make-Out Sessions)

🍿 CINE-DRAMA: THE POPCORN OF SALVATION AND THE CAPTAIN'S FAREWELL

Dear readers and Elm Hollow TV addicts! The Butcher's Lasso trial has concluded and claimed its victims. Our titan of the ice, Josh Roy, and the formidable Lizzie have to leave the game due to an ankle injury. But don't despair: close sources (me, hiding behind a hay bale) confirm that the Captain carried her away in his arms with a devotion that would make the heroes of Selene Dusk's novels pale in comparison. A round of applause for the most athletic (and unlucky) couple on the show! But the question begs to be asked: what happens now? Production promises fire and brimstone.

🔥 A... ROYAL SANDWICH?

Speaking of fire and brimstone, we absolutely must address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the two wranglers in the room. Twins Cole and Cade have shown zero hesitation in locking their radar onto our Princess Carolina. The three of them have been exchanging witty banter and burning looks that are drastically raising the humidity on set. The princess declared to the cameras, "Why choose?".

Gazette Verdict: Dear female readers, get your smelling salts ready. I foresee hormonal storms and rumpled sheets. And don't forget: cowboys do everything better, let alone two of them.

🧠 WAR OF THE WORLDS: NERD VS SEXY NURSE

And for our comedic relief of the week, a special thanks to Emerson and Susan. We don't know who had the sadistic idea to pair them up, but we'd like to shake their hand. Between "useless beanpoles" and "sturdy farm girls," the two of them are one step away from committing actual murder on camera. How long will the astrophysicist last before Susan decides to strangle him with her fake stethoscope? Stay tuned, because the blood might not be fake much longer.

#HauntedSpurs #PopcornOfSalvation #LoveTriangle #RunEmersonRun

26

Tequila is the New Holy Water

Selene

It’s pouring again.

Lightning tears through the sky right as my fingers fly furiously across my Mac’s keyboard.

My heroine is facing an inner dilemma. She feels... lost. Completely adrift. She doesn't have the faintest idea how to stop thinking about her phantom cowboy, and worse yet, she can't explain why she obsessively keeps doing it.

Sure... they have fantastic sex. And he's gorgeous. And he does things for her that make her feel... important. Things like deciding to risk his own non-life to protect her. Things like making sure she eats a hot meal from her favorite tavern. Making her smile before falling asleep.

Three sharp knocks on the wooden door abruptly interrupt my flow.

I jump, blinking. I pull my eyes away from the screen and only just now realize I've been writing non-stop, in some sort of trance, for hours.

I move the cursor to the bottom left and check the word count.