Page 50 of The Song of the Void

Scarred for life, it is.

Rei scowled. “Look, we were just⁠—”

“I don’t wanna know!”

“Zephra, tell him!”

Tell him what, that we absolutely weren’t sleeping together? Because while we technically weren’t, if things had gone longer…

“We weren’t having sex.”

Ashkade yelled incoherently, as if that might stop him from having to hear me. “Now my ears are bleedin’ too! Make it stop, lemme go, please!” He tried to slink out of Rei’s grip, but his bodyguard was far too strong, and held him there with one hand.

“You listen to me,” Reiven said. “Stop acting like you walked in on us fucking, because we weren’t doing that. And even if we were, we’re both adults, so you don’t get to act weird about it.”

The horror hadn’t left Ash’s face, but he listened intently to what Rei said, looking up at him with such innocence. The two of them couldn’t be more different: Reiven with his dark hair, tall and muscular, compared to fair-haired Ashkade and his frail body. Clearly of different parentage, and yet they never looked more like brothers than in that moment. It sent a spike of warmth shooting through my heart, despite this uncomfortable situation.

Reiven continued, “So, tomorrow, you could make this awkward for everybody, or we can all pretend this didn’t happen. Got it?”

“Y-yes sir! Nothin’ happened, I didn’t see nothin’!”

“And the next time you even think about coming in here, you’re going to knock, damn it!”

Ashkade yelped another agreement, his face the shade of a steamed lobster as Rei released him. He tiptoed towards the door, eyes darting between the two of us like he couldn’t unsee whatever his hormone-driven imagination was making him see. “L-lock the door next time!” he cried, whirling to limp away at the speed of light. Reiven did lock the door and returned to me, grumbling under his breath.

“I think we may have traumatized him,” I said, earning a half-cocked grin as he sat down on the bed.

“Kid can’t be traumatized. He didn’t see anything.” Reiven stretched his arms above his head, as if relieving himself of the tension that had filled the room before Ashkade had burst inside. “I'll sleep on the floor.”

“What? No.” I seized his hand to keep him there.

“There's only one pillow.”

We'd figure it out, I decided. I wasn't about to let him sleep on the floor, especially when all those confusing feelings demanded I stay close to him. I lay on my side with my back to him, while he tried his best to keep his distance. But since we shared the one lumpy pillow, his face ended up buried in my hair, and his breath warmed my neck and shoulder.

“Reiven?”

“Mm.”

“About that void you’re trying to decide if you want to jump inside…Don’t do it.”

He stilled.

“I’ve been on the edge before, too, and I know what’s inside. There’s no beautiful sea of stars. It’s just pain.”

After a beat of silence, Reiven curled his arm around my stomach and pulled me back against him. Maybe I imagined it, but I thought I felt something soft graze my shoulder.

“You know me, Blue. I’m a sucker for pain.”

The last time I stood on the edge he spoke of, staring down into a dark chasm of mystery, it had been because of Vaetrik. I left behind my senses and leaped inside, only to find myself not in a pretty void, but in the hold of his ship in chains. Reiven didn’t know the pain he was in for. It would probably be more severe than his curse. Then he’d learn his lesson, like how I did with Vaetrik.

Reiven took a deep, slow breath and pressed his lips against my shoulder again. He whispered against my skin. “I hope that if you find yourself on the edge again, you’ll trust that you’ll find beauty in the void instead of pain, Zephra.”

His soft words drew me closer to the edge of the new chasm I found before me. One that I had been keeping my distance from, because I knew in the end there was nothing good waiting for me there. And yet…I let myself be pulled closer. Closer to him.

I slept beside him from that night forward. Not intentionally—I woke up the next morning to discover that my hammock had mysteriously disappeared, and Reiven feigned ignorance. To keep my distance and my body under control, I built a stubborn wall of folded up blankets between us. Still, my rebellious senses paid far too much attention to everything he did.

I memorized the patterns and warmth of his breath. That slight upward twitch of his lips when I’d sit beside him. The way something softened in his dark eyes when they met mine, like an ocean cliff gradually worn down by the waves.