Page 51 of The Song of the Void

Even his footsteps on the wooden planks outside our room were familiar, and a smile already curved my lips before the door swung open with a stirring of stale, salty air. Our gazes met. Heat flooded the room and flushed blissfully across my skin at his arrival. Reiven had a way of doing that, as if he carried the sun’s warmth even at nighttime. The shadows lurking in the corners of our room seemed to brighten, and there was no way a single, sputtering lantern accomplished that alone. Maybe there was some magic at work—the Druinnic bond, that had to be it.

I dropped the blankets I was arranging on our cot to face him, narrowing my eyes in an attempt to look disinterested rather than delighted.

Reiven grinned like he knew something I didn’t. “Evening,” he said.

Fighting the damn smile only made it stronger, but I did my best to pin my lips into a scowl with my fangs. “Took you that long to wash your face?”

“You can just outright say you missed me, Blue. Even if I was only gone for a few minutes.” The door clicked softly behind him. He strode a few steps closer, drawing me in with his eyes like the moon draws the tide.

Effortlessly.

I remembered myself and stopped an arm's length away, folding my arms across my chest. “Actually, I was wondering if you had fallen overboard and thinking it was a pity I didn't push you over myself.”

Reiven grimaced and motioned vaguely at the remnants of black eyeliner smudging beneath his lashline where he had unsuccessfully tried to wipe it off. “If I had fallen overboard, it would've been Ash's fault. That kid gets more sadistic with every game.”

Using my thumb, I rubbed at the remaining eyeliner—the punishment for losing that day’s card game of choice. Technically, I was supposed to draw all sorts of outlandish things across the loser’s face, but since it was Reiven, I had settled for lightly lining his eyes with my charcoal pencil. Was it really a punishment, though, if it only made him more handsome?

“I still don’t know how you lost. You said you were a skilled poker player.”

“I am. I was just…distracted.”

You’ve been distracted a lot lately, haven’t you?

I licked my thumb and scrubbed harder at his eye to get the last stubborn bit of makeup. “Well, just remember, if I listened to Ash and Calinia, you would have had dicks and cat whiskers drawn across your face. Consider yourself lucky.”

Rei caught my hand with another mysterious smile. “I do.”

“Did I actually manage to make you look pretty?” I teased.

“Obviously.” He raked his fingers through his hair, still damp from him washing his face. Something past me caught his eye and he arched one brow. “Hey, what happened to that wall of blankets you keep shoving between us?” He wandered over to the cot and flopped onto the blankets I arranged to lie flat rather than folded up as a barrier in the center.

“It took up a whole third of the bed, and I’m tired of feeling cramped. Rest assured, if you cross the invisible line in the middle, I’ll kick you off the cot.”

“Hmm.” Reiven interlaced his fingers beneath his head, eyes closed. Didn’t even bother to move when I crawled over him to lay on the side closer to the wall. He was already halfway over my imaginary line…so I mentally moved the line a little closer to me.

I sang my wordless lullaby until he fell asleep, as I always did. The shallow rise and fall of his chest was his lullaby for me, a song I’d absorb before losing myself in my dreams, too. Dreams, not nightmares. Not reliving memories that made me tremble.

But dreams weren’t even enough to prevent my subconscious from stirring when it realized he wasn’t beside me anymore. Deep in the night, when our lantern had long since burned out, my eyes drifted open and I instinctively reached for him. Rei's space on the cot wasn’t even warm, so I must have somehow slept through his nightly routine of twitching and moaning.

Gone again. His curse must be hurting him. That has to be why he leaves.

I hated seeing the agony that drowned him endlessly, that he hid so well from everyone. Now that I recognized it, I couldn't ignore it. Every night, I thought about asking him to let me take it away, to give him a few hours of respite and sleep. But that thing he said, that he “deserved” his curse, held me back. Maybe I didn't fully understand what horrible things he had done, but I didn't think anyone deserved to be in so much pain all the time, not even as punishment. My heart ached for him.

I faced the wall, but I felt his presence the moment he opened the door, and the dip of the mattress as he settled back in bed. Eyes closed, I mumbled some sleepy nonsense, rolling over to hug him. I draped my leg over his and snuggled into the crook of his neck, pretending like I wasn't awake enough to hear him chuckle. His arms circled me like rings of warmth, drawing me closer to his chest. The steady thud of his heartbeat soothed me more than the tranquil symphony of the waves.

“Are you awake?” he asked.

I mumbled something incoherent that sounded vaguely negative.

“Good…I was worried I woke you up. Since you're asleep, I hope you don’t hate me for enjoying this for a while.” He trailed his fingers up my back and played with my hair while I struggled to maintain my ruse of sleep. “I have to admit, I’ve never met anyone like you before. I always thought Sirens were deceitful killers, but…you're just a girl. A girl that never deserved to be ripped from her home.”

Hopefully I didn't go too oddly still, but I had to hold my breath. Warmth built behind my eyelids. I fought to keep them closed, to keep from giving myself away.

“What am I supposed to do with this, Zephra?” His grip on me tightened, like he was about to fall apart. “You can’t lie on my chest so innocently while you ruin me. Things would be easier if you just hated me, so—” Reiven cut himself off with a sigh. “Even though I’m falling for you, please, don’t fall for me.”

What is he even talking about?

He kissed my forehead. Ashkade must have broken time in our room, because the world around us went wonderfully still. Warmth and softness dawned within my heart like sunlight streaming through glacial waves. A confusing mix of emotions washed over me, making it even more difficult to pretend I was asleep.