Page 97 of Ashen Wings

Ihadn't allowed myself a glance over the shoulder until I'd flipped the lock and slid the armoire against my bedchamber door last night. My head still spins with so many warring thoughts, but these damned hands of mine won't stop shaking.

Part of me hoped Jace might knock on my door, begged for him to come in, and show me what lurks under his skin. The thrill of a murderous chase coils in my belly, which isn’t fucking confusing at all…but the upstairs hall stayed silent, and the rasp on my door never came.

“I need you to run, Nova.”

Gods, I begged him to touch me, showed his hands where I needed them, and when I found release, it was at the mercy of his own turmoil. Guilt hurts like a bitch when it slaps me across the face, over and over again.

Selfish. Stupid. Reckless.

I was greedy enough to take what I wanted without any consideration. When granted the opportunity to let myself free, I took it.

But it was just the magic, right? Overwhelming me to the point of insanity? Why does my chest hurt like every feeling, every desire was real, then?

Was it real for him, too? Or was he simply offering relief when I drove past my breaking point? How could it be real? The only thing keeping me here is a payout, a transaction. When I nearly fled, he offered triple, knowing only stipen would buy my time.

But is it truly just wealth that tethers me to this place, these people? Or is it Jace Ashborne? Is it the way he constantly ensures I’m cared for or how he embraces me fully? Not once has he tried to suppress my force. Not once has he stifled me in the way that everyone else does.

I'm dancing over hot coals, at risk of burning any moment, but I can't pull my feet away, no matter how hard I will them.

Fuck, I'm so far under I don't know if I'll ever find my way back to the surface.

"Okay, where the fuck is Jace?" Roe shakes me from my spiral as she shifts her pack over her shoulder and scans the main house's dim interior. "And what the fuck happened to you?"

I bite my lip and finish securing my own satchel to Tenebris's saddle. "Nothing of importance."

"That crease on your brow suggests otherwise, courier." She perks her lips, but doesn't push for any actual response, thank Astora.

"Shit Roe, you're not even crossing the border with us. Did you truly think our whole damned armory necessary for the journey?" Isra asks, patting Serelyn on her scaly thigh.

"With the lurkers still gathering, and our old pal Samkiel now in the mix, I thought better to be prepared. Unlike some of us..." She rolls her eyes and tosses a pack to his boot.

Isra huffs a laugh, and secures it to Serelyn's saddle. “I guess you have a point.”

My focus blurs as I meet Tenebris’s gaze. The Blightfang rumbles a cloud of understanding. How much does he know about the protection bond and my subsequent fuck up? Enough to not panic over Jace's absence it seems. My stomach turns.

"Seriously, where is he? It's a long flight to the border." Roe taps an impatient foot on the ground.

"You're just worried about the journey home.” Isra clasps his hands together. "Serelyn will go easy on you. Don’t fret, little viper."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Roe chides, but smiles at the Jadetail anyway. I refocus on Tenebris’s saddle, checking each strap and tightening the ones that need securing. The dragon huffs when I cinch the one behind his front leg.

“Oh, sorry, Bris. Is this too tight?”

He merely stares through me. I cringe and loosen the buckle slightly.

"Good morning, starling."

Midnight and ink prick my nose. With shoulders stiff, I whirl around to find Jace, draped in black leather and hands tucked behind his back. He nods at the others, never breaking the tension between us. My pulse flutters like a bird fighting a squall.

Fuck, he looks good. The breastplate strapped to his chest highlights each cord of muscle, his hair curtains his brow in effortless dark curls, and his eyes...gloriously vibrant with silvery flecks of starlight. Has he always looked like this? Or is it my body's heightened response after those damned fingers of his flung me to the cosmos?

This is bad...really bad.

"Fucking finally. What took you so long, Ashborne? Styling your hair?" Roe treks toward us.

"Something like that," Jace replies, his gaze never leaving me.

"You look...well rested.” My complexion pales. Astora smite me, that's what I got? Not I'm sorry for throwing myself at you or I promise I'm not that desperate feral creature you fell victim to last night. Just you look well rested. I bite my tongue before I make an even greater fool of myself.