Page 98 of Ashen Wings

"So do you," he replies. For an instant, his fingers reach for mine, and I practically choke on my own saliva. Then, they're back by his sides—controlled and stiff. My body warms at the sight of those hands, sending an agonizing reminder of how they stroked my inner walls straight to my core.

Fuck, snap out of it, Nova.

"Let's mount up and get going. There's a storm blowing in from the west and I don't want to risk freezing to death."

I offer a pathetic nod and heave myself up Tenebris's shoulder. Jace settles in behind me, and gods be good, I’ve forgotten how to breathe. His thighs press against mine, securing me in place between lean muscles. I keep my lips tight as he weaves his hands around my waist. The rise and fall of his breath is steady compared to the rapid, frantic bursts I'm failing to master.

"Am I making you nervous?" He strokes his thumb down the pommel. My skin ignites with the lingering sensation of that damned digit tucked between my thighs. Is he toying with me? A low, breathless chuckle brushes against my ear. Oh, he absolutely knows what he’s doing. Fucking asshole.

"No," I snap.

“Good. It’s a long journey. You might as well get comfortable between my legs.”

My whole body burns. Muscles I didn’t even know existed strain with rage, or need, I can’t tell.

Before I can rip his throat out, Tenebris unfurls his wings, stretching them to their full span, and strides across the yard. Sunlight scatters off each of his scales, like they're carved from pure obsidian. He truly is glorious, in all of his terrifying beauty.

My stomach lurches as we jolt from the ground and take flight. Will I ever get used to the sudden sag of skin, fighting gravity inch for inch? Probably not but damn the thrill surges through my very core.

I glance behind us to see Isra and Roe mount. Serelyn's eyes spark as she too pumps her wings and follows our ascent.

"Hang on tight, starling." Jace tightens his grip as we climb through the clouds.

Frost-bitten air nips my cheeks and the vast taste of the sky fuels a fiery exhilaration in my blood. With each pump of Tenebris’s wings, my stomach climbs up my throat. We spin and dance in time to the whistling breeze until the cloud cover diminishes and we breach the upper atmosphere.

I take a moment to gather our bearings. Terrafyre and Shadevale peek from the swirling fog below, like monuments to the cosmos. To the east, the continent sinks into a dark, grey coastline. I’ve always imagined Sea to be a paradise of white beaches and warm waters, but the bleak flatlands and marshy clearings send a crest of dread crashing right through me.

Storm clouds, grey and angry, gather on the horizon, building and blistering with an impending snowfall. I tuck into Jace’s warmth, even if only to keep from shivering.

When we've finally leveled out, leaving the roiling cloud cover to ebb beneath us, my breath escapes. Tenebris's wings settle into a smooth, laminar span and we soar beside Serelyn.

Isra grins and throws a thumbs up toward us. I nearly choke on a laugh as my eyes lock on Roe, now clinging to Serelyn with a white knuckled grip.

She reminds me of a street cat I’d once found back in Smoke, scrambling and clawing at the tallest branch of a half-dead cherry tree. Under the deafening winds, I imagine she’s yowling just as the cat did, too.

"We've got a long way before we descend." Jace lets his hands fall to his thighs.

Amidst the whistling breeze, the silence between us begs to be filled. Now might be our only chance to clear the air after last night, and with all the fires surrounding us, I know I have to extinguish this one.

"I'm sorry about last night," I say.

Jace's jaw ticks. "You aren't the one who should be apologizing, Nova. I could have killed you."

"But I pushed you to that limit. You shifted because of my actions. My recklessness," I reply, my lips drier than sand.

He glances down at me through thick, wind-brushed curls. "I shifted because I lost control of my own accord. I took advantage of your heightened state, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life."

My throat dries. He thinks he's to blame for this? I want to reach out and touch him, to run my hand down his cheek and reassure him this isn’t his fault, it’s mine.

"Jace..."

"It won't happen again, Nova. I promise you."

Something snaps in my chest at the finality of his tone. Even if it requires swan diving into a darkness I might never return from, did I truly want something more than this?

"No, I..." The words die on my tongue when Jace tips my chin up. There's nothing but an impassable wall in his gaze. Did I lay those bricks or did he? I guess it doesn’t matter now. Whatever sliver of connection we once had falls away, shredded and severed.

"Let's just focus on the mission. There's too much at stake,” he says.