Page 18 of Silent Damage

Nobody says a word.

You know the silence is painful when even the guy who doesn’t speak is uncomfortable.

Silverware clanks against the plates. Mom’s eyes dart about the table, desperately trying to think of something to say to break the silence, but it’s useless.

Sitting next to Jason after all this time is surreal. I want to ignore him, but my eyes keep trailing over to watch the way his jaw moves when he eats.

Or the way his neck bobs when he swallows.

Fuck.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to beg him to look me in the eyes and talk to me.

My whole being wants to fucking scream that I waited for him to reach out—to ask if I was okay.

Now that he’s here, I want answers, but I also can’t ask the questions. It hurts too much to ask.

And I don’t want to have to ask!

I spent my whole life learning how to read Jason—I knew when he was hurting even when he was hiding it, and I figured out what to say.

That’s all I want—for someone to learn me. To understand me. I thought Jason was that person.

My hand shakes as I grip the fork, thinking about the night it all went down…

Jason’s eyes blaze with fury. “You knew? You fucking knew and lied? Even after I asked you point-blank?”

“What was I supposed to do?” I ask with my hands stretched to the side. “She told me not to say anything.”

“So, you lied. To me! To me, Gabe. You knew what was going on. You said Linda was helping. Fucking helping! She wasn’t helping. She was fucking Doug, and you knew the whole time and lied right to my face.” He straightens, tears welling at the base of his eyes, and speaks in a low tone. “I was going to ask you to run away with me. Fuck that. I’m going with my mom. We’re leaving Belmont.”

The air shifts. My skin turns cold. “What?”

Jason huffs a humorless laugh. “Doug’s kicking us out.”

“How can he do that?” Jason explodes, picking up rocks and dirt and throwing them. “Because he’s an asshole! He owns the trailer; he can do what he wants. Besides, do you honestly think Doug wants me to stay with him? He hates me! And I’d never stay with him and your whore mother.”

“Don’t say that!” Jason walks to our fort and starts kicking the wood that holds the tarp up. “What are you doing?” I scream.

“Fuck this fort. Fuck you, Gabe! You lying asshole.”

“Jason, please, don’t!”

He destroys it—the fort we built together. The wreckage lies on the ground, debris scattered about the forest floor.

Jason closes the distance between us. “I showed you everything. Every welt. Every tear. And you gave me nothing. Worse than that! You made up some shitty story that your mom was helping. Well, she wasn’t. Because nobody does! Nobody fucking cares about me.”

He pushes me away and starts to walk off. “Wait! Jason, don’t go!”

When he turns around, he has his switchblade out and points it at me. “Don’t ever speak to me again, Gabe. You chose them over me. We’re done.”

I grab his arm, but he yanks it away and continues walking. “Jason! Don’t do this. Where are you going? Where is your mom taking you?”

I grab his T-shirt to stop him. If I can just explain, he’ll understand.

But he rips his shirt from my hands and runs. “Jason! Wait!”

I run after him, panic washing over me because he’s running. He’s never run away from me, and he’s sprinting. “Don’t leave me!”