Page 19 of Silent Damage

I trip on a root and fall flat on my face. When I push myself back up, he’s gone.

All I did was keep a secret Mom asked me to. What was I supposed to do?

And then he said nothing to me after it happened. Nothing.

After all the things I did for him. All the ways I tried to take care of him.

It’s happening…

And I hate it.

But I can’t hold it in anymore.

This is when the words slip out.

When it becomes too much—

My body shakes as I sit next to him, thinking about how much we meant to each other and how it all fell apart.

I needed him.

My chest expands as the rage boiling within becomes unbearable, and I let the words tear out of me.

“I hate you.” It comes out in a low, raspy whisper, making my throat burn.

Everyone drops their silverware and stares.

Jason looks at me, his eyes wide with shock, before they narrow, and a slimy grin stretches across his face. “Silent, my ass. I knew you’d say something, eventually.”

“Boys—”

I rise from my chair, staring him down with rage blazing in my eyes.

Jason rises in response. “Don’t even fucking try it, you—”

I push him hard against the chest before he can finish, and he stumbles back.

“BOYS! Stop it!” Doug shouts.

Jason pushes me back, and I fall on my ass.

“Try it again,” he says. “I dare you.”

With clenched teeth, I rise to my feet and lunge forward, tackling him to the floor.

Doug’s out of his chair, followed by Mom. Both rush toward us, trying to pull their respective child away, but nothing can stop us.

The rage and hurt have nowhere to go but into our fists, and so we just start swinging, fighting like crazy on Doug’s porch.

His hand wallops me across the face, and soon we’re both grabbing at each other's clothes, punching and clawing at each other.

We roll along the porch floor, fists flying, clothes tearing, hair pulling. I rip Jason’s shirt, and he tears a hole in mine. His pants are baggy, and they fall, revealing the top of his boxers. We collide with an end table, and a plant goes tumbling. Then we plow into a table holding an ashtray, which falls, peppering our bodies with ashes and shattering on the floorboards. I get a good slug to his ribs, but he retaliates with a punch to my gut.

Mom and Doug are trying everything they can to separate us, but there’s no use.

We roll down the stairs, landing on the ground with a thud. Jason gets on top of me and holds me down, but I manage to free my hand and hit him in the jaw.

He falters, giving me the opportunity to jump on top of him, but he’s stronger than I am. He latches onto my torso, his hands grabbing me so hard it hurts, and pulls me down.