Page 52 of Silent Damage

I look at the picture again—at my eyes.

I see it.

The hurt.

The lust.

I don’t remember much from last night, but I remember feeling that.

Bile rushes to the back of my throat, but I hurry to drink some water.

Between the picture and the booze—I feel like I might collapse.

I did that—jerked off with Gabe.

I wanted him so bad—

“No!” I stomp my foot against the ground. “This can’t happen.”

I chug another glass of water and lean over the counter.

I won’t let it happen.

Chapter 13

Gabe

Iuse my key to unlock the front entrance of Torren’s auto repair shop, and the harsh overhead lights fill the space when I flip the switch. As I walk past two cars awaiting inspection, the smell of gasoline and antifreeze pummels my nostrils. I approach the tool cabinet and retrieve what I need, setting them beside the car I’ll be working on today.

Thank God it’s Monday, and I have work today. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to stay in that trailer with him.

Jason was asleep when I left.

I placed the picture and message I wrote on the kitchen table, where I knew he’d find it, because I couldn’t help myself.

He wants me.

And we both know it.

From the subtle looks he hopes I don’t catch, to the flat-out calling my name when he was watching porn.

Once he caught me, his eyes left the porn entirely. He told me to stay! Stroked himself while he watched me do the same.

He’s still in there—the Jason I loved is there. I just need to reach him somehow.

“What’s up, Baby Gabe?”

Relief floods my system as Torren descends the spiral staircase. When Mom went to prison, I was a fucking mess. She was gone, I was a murderer, and the boy I thought I loved with all my heart hated me.

I’d talked with Torren on the train tracks a couple of times before that, completely in awe of how cool he was. I knew what he did—everyone did.

He was the co-leader of the HellCats with his adoptive brother, Tobias, wore nothing but leather, rode a sick motorcycle, and had jet-black hair that rivaled Elvis’s.

The more we talked, the more I learned how much he hated being in the HellCats. Torren’s not like Tobias, who genuinely scares me.

Torren has a heart. He eventually left the gang and opened up this shop.

When he saw me after it all happened, he took one look at my face and just knew. He didn’t ask, and I wouldn’t say anything, but he knew something had happened.