Page 53 of Silent Damage

Broken people can see each other.

That’s probably why he offered me this job. He knew I needed something to hold onto.

Torren approaches and fist bumps me. “Ready for some coffee? Felix is already there.”

Felix is Torren’s boyfriend.

I love Felix.

He’s hilarious, and nobody knows how to handle a tornado like Torren better than Felix does.

I nod, and we hop on his motorcycle to ride across town to Maggie’s Diner.

When we walk in, I see Felix joking around with another server named Gilda.

The jingle of the door grabs his attention, and he looks over and smiles. “Oh, hey, Daddy,” Felix says sweetly while waving. “Hey, Gabe.”

We take a seat at the bar, and Felix leans over the counter and kisses Torren. “You didn’t say goodbye this morning,” Torren scolds.

“You were sleeping so peacefully,” Felix explains. “I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

Torren traces his thumb over Felix’s lower lip. “Leaving me without even a goodbye? I think that calls for a spanking later.”

Maggie, the owner, struts over with a tray and yells, “Well, do it when lover boy is off the clock. The two of you are a walking peep show.”

Felix laughs while tracing the veins of Torren’s forearms. “I’ll get your stupid donut and black coffee.” He looks at me and asks, “Double chocolate donut, Gabe?”

I shoot him a thumbs-up, and his eyes trail back over to Torren, who stares at Felix hungrily.

Seeing the two of them gives me hope. They’re so in love, and it makes me feel like that kind of love is possible.

Maybe even for a freak who won’t talk.

Jason

I’ve been in this shithole of a trailer all day, sucking Marlboro Reds and fuming. The hangover has morphed into despair, and I can’t stop thinking about what an idiotic decision it was to come back to Belmont.

I’m not usually this dumb!

Well, that’s a lie. I’m a fucking idiot, and I can accept that.

What I can’t accept is feeling weak.

Vulnerable.

Not anymore.

Belmont has haunted me since I left with Mom, and I needed to come back to see if things had changed. To see if maybe, just maybe, I could come back here and conquer it—feel powerful for once.

I associate this place with so much shame and heartache. I wanted to come back and prove to Doug that I was more than what he always told me I was…

Garbage.

And I wanted to look Gabe in the eyes and tell him I didn’t need him—that I had my own back now and didn’t need him anymore.

That’s not what’s happening.

The more I think about last night, the more I realize that the only thing I remember without a shadow of a doubt is the way Gabe looked at me from across the room.