Page 176 of Wings of Destruction

In this fleeting moment, I understand her better than almost anyone I’ve met since coming to DragonSpear. Haven’t I already had to push myself into a tiny ball and cradle it to protect who I really am? Not a maid or a martyr but a survivor?

A woman capable of vengeance.

That person might not be there when I make it to graduation. In my head, it’s a matter of time, not a possibility. I will graduate from this place. If it takes pretending to follow General Ryson, then okay, I’ll stomach it for as long as it takes, because Astrid is right. There are certain steps to take.

But I have no idea who I’m going to be at the end of this adventure. Will I be better? Or just different?

“We each carry our own secrets,” Astrid continues in an undertone.

I nod. “Some are heavier than others.” What kind of secrets does she hide?

The treacherous kind.

Then again, most secrets are. Maybe that’s why Kieran pisses me off so much. Because his secrets are better hidden than mine but he’s in the position to change my life. My secrets hurt no one except me.

And I’ve learned to live with the missing pieces.

Astrid’s stare unnerves me and weariness curves my shoulders.

“I’m going to try my best.” My broken nose throbs. “And soon I’ll be able to land more than a single hit.”

Nothing about me is easy but I bite down on my lip until the pain from the split crowds out the adrenaline rush. Copper blood fills my mouth again.

“Keep your eyes open,” Astrid warns.

She starts walking again and I pressure my legs into movement, limping after her. The seconds tick by and the aches deepen so that my entire face throbs, muscles contracting when I need them to release.

Only a little longer, and I’ll know what’s happening. I’ll know whether Harbi will still accept me, and if I’ll get to transition from an uncomfortable bottom bunk with exposed springs to a real bed, with the others.

Remembering the cot, the press of the metal, I straighten and walk tall.

Noise grows the closer we get to the dining hall. Astrid passes by the open doors without blinking and I hustle after her toward the headmistress’s office. It might be the last place I want to be and the only space in the entire castle that matters.

Harbi had been willing to give me a shot. That’s what I have to remember.

Astrid pauses at the door and knocks, waiting for an answer.

“Enter!”

The barked demand is a blast of sound and the door swings open on its own seconds later. My veins settle into a sluggish rhythm like my heart has lodged behind my broken nose and sends out spikes of spasming agony with every throb.

The painted swirls of sunny sky overhead are an odd contrast to the open doors of the balcony. Harbi stands backlit by lightning and driving rain and in the darkness, something shifts, separating itself from the dull black.

A dragon. Her dragon.

It looks like they’ve both been waiting for me.

Harbi pauses to stroke a rain-slicked hand down the dragon’s sleek snout and steps into the office barefoot. She leans heavily on her staff, gripped in the opposite hand, and the droplets of water gild her black hair like diamonds.

The soft thunk of her staff is the only sound in the room and absorbs into the plush carpet.

“I wondered when you would show up.” She addresses me first. “Although you, Miss Edwards, I expected at dinner.”

Harbi glances over our shoulders, looking predictably for Kieran.

When her gaze latches on mine again, her eyes are two glinting pieces of turquoise shoved into a still useful face. Then she notices my broken nose and the lines fanning from those gems crease.

I sniff on instinct and regret it immediately. The tiniest bit of movement jostles the broken bone and the swelling makes it harder to breathe.