Page 177 of Wings of Destruction

Astrid remains at the door with her arms crossed over her chest and an air of dismissal. There’s no mistaking the moment or the way the silence stretches tight like a bubble ready to burst.

I step in front of Astrid with the need to speak pushing against my lips. “I’m staying.”

It’s always better to double down than to act apologetic. My mother taught me that.

Harbi says nothing and I shove the bite out of my tone, nibbling on my lip out of instinct until the split opens further. The quiet spreads and my fingers twist with the need to fiddle.

“I’ve decided DragonSpear is my future. I’m accepting your invitation,” I say when I can’t take it anymore.

My stomach drops when her lips thin and tears push solidly against the back of my eyes. I’m too late. I wasted so much time with Kieran, and then with Astrid, that Harbi has rescinded her kindness.

Harbi’s mouth opens and she takes a deep breath with her eyes still holding mine. Slowly, she shakes her head.

My stomach drops as fear splinters through me.

What did I expect though?

To simply waltz in here and say I’d changed my mind, then have everything in my life go right?

“What happened to your face? You’re bleeding quite a lot.” Harbi glances at her carpet without answering my plea. “The swelling in your cheeks and eyes will make you uncomfortable for the next few weeks.”

“Broken nose.” My voice trembles and hurt laces each syllable.

“Her first official sparring lesson,” Astrid says, finally speaking up. “It did not go well for her.”

“A taste of life at DragonSpear,” Harbi agrees with a nod.

Life at DragonSpear.

She hasn’t said yes but it’s close enough for me to think about every dark and ugly vision I had for myself and the future, and know I don’t want those things to happen.

It’s going to be tough to hide myself and my truth while I’m here. Trusting no one will help.

Candlelight flickers from the lantern on Harbi’s desk and the individual flames at the tips of her chandelier. The glow at the center of the room casts unnatural shadows across her face and my breath catches in my throat.

“How did she do?” Harbi asks Astrid, still looking at me.

“Well enough to get her to this point,” Astrid replies.

Heat prickles along my spine and anticipation tears the rest of me to shreds.

“There’s much to work on, but with the right prodding, she shows potential.”

Harbi nods again like she values Astrid’s insights.

Suddenly, I recognize this for what it is. A challenge, to see if I have what it takes to muscle my way through and defend my place here. My limbs shake with phantom memories of my fights today, refusing to go still. I’m ready to run, to attack, at any sign of danger.

But the danger is everywhere and my nerves don’t understand my brain telling me I’m fine. I’m fine.

Finally Harbi drops her chin to break eye contact. She glides behind the desk and pulls open the drawer from earlier.

Without looking at me, she says, “If you think we will go easy on you because of your past and what you’ve lived through, then you’re sorely mistaken. Your losses are your own. We all walk through those doors with the burden of our traumas.”

My lungs stay tight, ears ringing.

“My students leave here equipped to face the world and all the challenges that come. There are broken bones and blood. There are heartache and expectations beyond anything you have experienced growing up. Many do not make it to be chosen by a mount.”

She pulls the academy’s stamp from the depths of the drawer and the curves of the sigil catch the light.