Page 43 of Darro

“Truth.” Tasgall watched his face for a moment. “By the Gods, my lady wife reads you like an opened scroll. ’Tis the newcomer who plagues you, then.”

For the first time since Ava had come to them Darro silently cursed her.

“Mistress Martinez brought arms to our men and fought beside them this night,” he told his brother. “Like any of our brothers she risked her life to keep this stronghold and our vassals safe. That obliged me to fight while aware that at any moment she could be slain and I’d never again see her in this world or any other.”

“Why didnae you stop her?” his brother asked softly.

“I cannae tell you why.” Of course he could; the woman burned in his blood like the flames that ever chased him. “’Tis that I didnae protect her as I should. I chose instead to defend Dun Talamh and the clan, as ever I do. That I do for you, Brother. Freely. Willingly. ’Tis my duty, as ever you’ve said. ’Tis what makes me sick of myself and you.”

The laird picked up the other goblet and took a healthy swallow before sighing. “No, Brother. ’Tis your heart that commands you now, no’ me.”

He stared at him. “You shallnae speak to me as if I’m some addled lad incapable of governing myself.”

“You’re no’?” Tasgall said, sounding surprised. “Of late you’ve behaved like a stag in rut that’s blundered into a hornet’s nest. Indeed, you came here no’ to report but to blame me for all your woes. No wonder you cannae manage yourself around–”

Darro punched him in the face, hard enough to knock him flat. He strode past him, intending to leave before he did worse, and then found himself falling as Tasgall used his arm to send him sprawling. Smacking his chin into the stone floor snapped the last unraveling thread of his patience. From that moment he fought with the laird as if they were lads again, tussling for their own amusement in the forest away from the disapproving gazes of their màthair’s tribe. Only now they were not laughing as they pummeled each other.

“Your temper finally shows,” the laird said as he rolled away and pushed himself to his feet. “I wondered when ’twould.”

Getting up provided Darro with a brief moment to think of how he should apologize to Tasgall. He deserved to be punished for how he’d spoken and behaved toward the laird. Of course he could blame the heat of battle staying with him, or claim weariness, but he would not. Not when bowing yet again to his older brother’s will seemed as onerous and unbearable as his life.

“Come closer and become better acquainted,” Darro suggested right before he lunged.

It took four more bouts of grappling, punching, parting and coming back together before Tasgall at last put an end to the fight. As he had in boyhood the laird let him pin him in the end, and then took the hand he offered and rose with him.

“Better?” Tasgall asked.

“No. Aye. No.” Darro spat blood on the floor and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “You’re an evil bastart for prodding me thus.”

“You’ve only just noticed, then? Ah, well, she’s a beauty. And fack me, but you’ve still the hardest fists in the clan.” Tasgall gingerly probed his ribs. “I reckon you came close to breaking my bones tonight. So, ’tis enough to settle, or shall we brawl anew? Whatever you break shall heal in a few hours.”

“I should hammer you into the floor, you pompous interfering eejit.” Darro dragged a hand through his hair to keep from doing just that. “Why taunt me so viciously? I’ve done naught but serve you well this night, the day before, and every other moment we’ve spent in this cursed prison.”

“I cannae stand by and watch you suffer in silence. I ken,” the laird said before he replied, holding up his hand. “You’ve done so often since becoming trapped here. Ever and always I’ve valued your service to me, particularly in these most trying of times. You’ve saved me much grief by taking on without complaint so much of the work I’ve handed you. Likely you’ve wanted to beat me bloody so often you’ve lost count. Yet never once did I see you waver and question yourself as you do with Esme Martinez. Why this female? Why now?”

Darro didn’t want to tell the laird about the spell that had plagued him, for he knew now it was gone. All that was left was his very real fear of falling in love with a woman who would change his life and then someday leave him. Yet Tasgall was the one man he trusted above all others, and had served in Keran’s place as a parent since their sire’s death.

“She desires me as her lover. She told me thus, as if we’d share a meal instead of a bed.” Talking about such a matter so openly made him cringe. “You’ve seen her. She’s but a wisp of a thing, and I’m an ox. I want her, aye, so badly I cannae sleep. Only the prospect of how I might harm her and some eejit half-broken fear spell stayed my hand—but no more. She fights as wildly as she wants. After tonight, I cannae hold back any longer. I’d go and make her my lover this moment. Yet first I came to you, as ever I do.”

“You’re fighting yourself over a lass who likes you, and wants you.” Tasgall shook his head. “I’m but the excuse you give yourself. You’ve barricaded yourself behind your position when it matters no’ to you or me. You’ve my blessing, if you need such.” He made a dismissive gesture. “Go to her.”

Darro stared at him, holding his jaw closed so he didn’t gawk at his brother like a beardless lad. “You’d ask me shirk my duties for a woman. A woman who shallnae stay with us if she may escape. A woman I’ve no claim to.”

“I disagree. I reckon Lady Esme, she’s the only lady you’ve ever wished to love with all your heart,” the laird corrected. “Darro, you’ve danced attendance on me since our boyhood. You’ve served me more faithfully and fully than any member of this clan. For tonight, I release you.” When he started to argue Tasgall lifted a hand. “Enough bickering. On the morrow we shall speak again of your duties, and how you may share them with the other chieftains so you’ve time for your lady. ’Tis natural and right, Brother.”

“You would do such for me.” He wondered if the laird were jesting, and if he might punch him again if he was.

His brother pointed to the door. “Go to her now. ’Tis your only duty tonight.” When he hesitated, he added, “I’m not asking, Chieftain.”

“Why didnae I thrash you unconscious?” As the laird chuckled Darro strode out, the weight gone from him, his thoughts filled with only the fire he no longer had to resist.

Ava met Esme as she came into the stronghold, and looked at her as if she had suddenly turned into a lunatic.

“You don’t need to fight alongside the men every time there’s an attack, you know,” she said mildly. “Are you all right?”

“No.” She wanted to grab the other woman and shake her until her teeth rattled, but that would solve nothing. All she could do was keep from exploding. “The men killed all the attackers again, and their bodies disappeared again. Some of the watchers on the outer wall were killed and they vanished, too. Did you even know what was happening out there, or were you too busy hiding the girls?”

“Too busy hiding and defending the girls,” the laird’s wife said, and touched the hilt of the short sword she had strapped to her belt. “My husband put me in charge of that to free up the guards. I’m the only one with enough training to protect them if any of the attackers get through and find us. Are you injured?”