Page 70 of Badmouths & Bards

And a quick hand job ain’t going to take the edge off this mission.

“Okay, okay.” Tala waved her hand, drawing their attention toward her. “I’m all for this new exhibitionist thing you’re both on—”

“But—” Ameriden began as Casimine waved his hand like a fan toward his own face.

“But I can’t exactly protect you guys if you’re fucking me,” Tala said bluntly. “I kinda need to keep my senses, not lose them.”

A perfectly reasonable explanation and one that didn’t require her to elaborate further on the other reason. The boys didn’t need to know about her little meeting with the Valiant Circle when they had so much on their plate already. Fuck, they hadn’t even met the princess yet—

“You could always watch us,” Ameriden tempted, pulling Casimine flush against him.

Fuck, the princess!

“Shit!” Tala’s hands shot up to her hair in realization.

“I don’t think she’s open to that, Amer.”

“You would think she’d be into it after our last performance—”

“Not that, you assholes,” Tala shook her head, frustration boiling toward the surface. “The princess!”

Fuck, how much had she seen? Had she noticed Casimine was the one she ran after? Had she followed Tala into the garden? Tala’s eyes swept across rose brambles and hedges, suspicion growing with each dark shadow. Ameriden was loud—he was always loud but that didn’t mean he was quieter than the princess and Tala seriously doubted the princess had been trained in stealth.

“What about the princess?”

When Tala met Casimine’s gaze, the lust had faded from his expression. Concern for her shining through his clear eyes.

“She was in one of the verandas,” Tala said in a rush. “I found her by accident and she was crying—but that’s not the point. I left her there when I saw you, Casimine. And I have no idea if she followed me here or not—fuck, why did I kiss you out here?”

Fuck up.

Tala was always going to be a fuck up!

And wouldn’t it just be her luck if someone from the Valiant Circle had seen it? Princess Osonia might not have been a master spy, but whoever they sent to meet Tala certainly could have been. They could have seen her kissing Casimine—they could have seen Ameriden kissing her.

They could have seen us together this whole time.

“Tala, I saw Casimine leaving the main hall and I followed his direction, but I didn’t see anyone else out here.” Ameriden explained.

“But that doesn’t mean someone didn’t see you. Both of you—or us!” Tala exclaimed. “I’ve jeopardized this entire mission the moment I slept with you two!”

The thinly veiled chaos that had been building inside of Tala was on the verge of exploding. It wasn’t enough that she wasn’t smart enough to figure out the origin of the ring or that she royally fucked up when she murdered the poisoner. No, she’d fucked up by letting herself be swayed by a pair of beautiful men who just wanted to stick their dicks in someone warm. The same way she’d fucked up her relationship with Avie by blowing up at her. And the more that mess rolled around in Tala’s head, the worse she felt when Casimine’s gaze softened.

“You didn’t—”

“I did!” Tala tightened her fist. “I fucked this whole thing up like I fuck everything up. I couldn’t find out who sent that ring and the moment I tried? I got jumped in the street by some poison assassin. Instead of taking him into the Valiant Circle, I let my anger get in the way and I sent him flying over the gate walls. I didn’t even think of knocking him out, I just wanted him gone.”

That was the ugly truth of it. Tala hadn’t been thinking, she’d just been moving. One brush of a weapon and instincts had taken over. She’d lost her control—what little of it she had—and completely forgotten the initial goal. Tala had wanted him to talk, but between her anger and that man’s smug voice—it hadn’t mattered anymore.

“And then, to make matters worse, I mess up by going to you,” Tala huffed. “Because even delirious, a part of me knew I would be safe with you…but that’s not how this is supposed to work. The Valiant Circle assigned me to protect you. One last test to see if I was worth keeping around. I keep you safe, and the monks decide I’m worth keeping. And, fuck, I still messed it all up. I’m supposed to keep you two safe, not keep you warm. I’m supposed to be your bodyguard, not your groupie.”

The word was said with such disdain, it made Casimine flinch. Ameriden didn’t look any better, but he was much harder to read. But it was too late to put the words back. A messy truth of shame and anger was all out in the open for everyone to see. Because Tala was always going to be the one to make a scene. It was one of the things her mother hated most about her behavior. No matter if they were at a charity ball or in the middle of a museum, Tala would voice her opinion one way or the other. No delicacy, no decorum, just raw, blunt, uncomfortable truths that had made all the adults in the room bristle with discomfort.

She never hated the silence as much as she did then. The heaviness between them would ordinarily be enough to make Tala bolt. Why she stayed when everything was telling her to run?

The fuck I know anymore.

“Tala, why didn’t you tell us any of this?” Casimine asked.