Page 71 of Badmouths & Bards

“Because it’s not your business,” Tala bit back.

Hurt. It broke across Casimine’s eyes like lightening before disappearing just as quickly.

“It became our business when we all decided to share a bed,” Ameriden argued, eyes sharp.

“But it’s not because once your gig in Eshorion is up, you’re all gone and I fuck off to nowhere,” Tala rebutted.

She didn’t know why. It was the truth, but it felt more like a weapon. Something Tala could hold onto, as sturdy as the batons she kept within arms reach. Unlike the wooden rods that had been made for defense, Tala’s mouth was like a double edged sword. The more she said, the more she’d hurt others and herself. But wasn’t it better to do that then let someone else hurt her first?

“You wouldn’t be nowhere,” Ameriden growled. “We would take you with us!”

No, no, no.

“Do not lie to me.”

A hot shot of anger tore through Tala at that. Ameriden could talk like that because he didn’t have to worry about having a roof over his head or someone to love at his side. He was allowed to hope, but hope had only ever ruined Tala. It had fooled her into believing her parents would love her even though she was so angry. It had made her think Avie would always be her friend. It had made her think they could love—

“He’s not lying,” Casimine insisted, reaching down to interlock his fingers with Ameriden’s. “Tala…we…we care for you. If your superiors are going to expel you from your duties, then come with us.”

Tala stared at the hand Casimine offered…and she walked away.

Chapter 32

Ameriden

“Fuck.”

For a moment, Ameriden wasn’t sure who said it. When he realized it had been Casi, he finally stopped staring at the spot where Tala had been. Casimine had sunk back into the stone slab, face buried in his hands. What should have been a fun romp in the king’s garden had turned into a disaster and all before their performance. Ameriden sighed, running a hand through his slick hair with little regard to how the strands lay when he dropped his hand.

“I should have told her,” Casimine murmured into his palms. “We should have told her how we really feel.”

His partner wasn’t wrong, but Ameriden suspected that even if they had declared their love in some grand fashion, Tala still would have rejected it. Ameriden knew he was an asshole and some part of him recognized that aspect in Tala as well. He wasn’t terribly observant, but that didn’t mean he didn’t pay attention. Tala had been eager for their bodies, but she was restless when they cuddled. She would flinch whenever Ameriden would call her lover and refuse Casimine’s sweet words when she’d leave them for the night.

The way Tala had been so quick to push back against their reassurances—it was like she couldn’t accept them. Ameriden suspected it was deeper than just concern for her job, but that wasn’t here or now. Outside of the boundaries of sex, they had never really discussed what it all meant. The idea of it being open ended hadn’t been a concern of Ameriden’s until the emotions had crept in. It wasn’t just Tala being hot, it was her smart mouth that got Ameriden going. It was the care she showed for Casimine that rivaled his own. It was how she fucking smiled when he managed to get her to laugh at his ridiculous antics.

“I don’t think it would have made a difference,” Ameriden admitted a moment later. “I don’t think she wants to hear it.”

Casimine slowly lifted his head and Ameriden felt his heart lurch at the pain he saw. He reached forward, taking his beloved’s hand in his. Wishing desperately that he could make it go away.

“Did we fall into a tragedy, Amer?” Casimine asked. “Did we fall in love with someone who will never love us back?”

That was the question that burned itself into Ameriden’s soul. He had Casimine—he would have Casimine when the night was over and long after they had left the ivory walls of Eshorion. But to act as if he wasn’t heartbroken at the thought of Tala not being a part of their world was a lie Ameriden wasn’t sure he could pull off.

But he would try for Casimine’s sake.

“She needs time,” Ameriden reassured. “And her heart’s already been broken by her friend.”

Tala might have thought she was good at keeping secrets, but Ameriden had quickly seen through it. Or maybe he had just grown accustomed to Tala’s tells. He had seen the way she would stare out the windows while he and Casimine would work on their music. Saw how her eyes would grow heavy as she searched the city below. Not for danger, but for a specific face. The face of a woman who Tala’s entire world had revolved around for a large portion of her life.

Ameriden didn’t know what he would do if he were to ever be separated from Casimine. The very idea made Ameriden’s gut drop as he pulled Casimine from his seated position. The loss would have left him devastated, inconsolable, and completely useless. Ameriden raised their joint hands, pressing his mouth tenderly to the flesh of Casimine’s hand.

If Tala felt anything about Avie the way he did about Casimine, it was no wonder she was so conflicted. Tala had denied a physical relationship, but that didn’t mean there hadn’t been a romantic one or even the promise of one. Whatever it was, Tala wasn’t over it, but Ameriden wasn’t certain what the answer was. Whether reconciliation would allow Tala to open her heart to them or if it would bring clarity that he and Casimine were just a consolation prize. The unknown of what came next was a pain Ameriden wanted to throw into the ocean.

“I don’t know if Tala loves Avie the way I love you, but…” Casimine sighed. “If she does, I’ll accept it. Even if it means her heart doesn’t have room for me.”

“As will I,” Ameriden agreed. “And if anything else, we’ll have plenty of material to work with for writing some great breakup ballads.”

Casimine groaned, “I desperately don’t want to think about that.”