Page 10 of Secret Dynasty

A jolt of betrayal blasted through me. “Evie shouldn’t have done that.” I hoped he didn’t catch how my voice trembled with anger. “I just came by to give something to Holden. I found it in my things from Yorkshire.”

Spencer shifted his body and slumped against the door. He did a good job of looking like he was simply relaxing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was bracing it against my departure. It was as if he was trapping me himself. “What was that?”

“Huh?” I asked, feeling confused.

“What did you give him?” Ice crackled in his words. He already suspected Holden had feelings for me. Now I realized that he suspected I shared those feelings.

I gave him a piece of my mind. But I couldn’t say that out loud. Not without having an explanation, and, the truth was that Spencer wasn’t entirely wrong in his suspicions. “A notebook. I borrowed it at Haworth.”

“With all the chaos, I forgot you went there with him,” Spencer said bitterly. “If I had known all of this would happen...I should have stayed in Yorkshire with you.”

Despite the confusion, I felt about Spencer and his family, pity took hold of me. “But at least you got to say goodbye to your grandfather,” I pointed out. “If you hadn’t returned, you wouldn’t have seen him one last time.”

“Do you think I care about that?” A cruel, unfamiliar laugh spilled from him. “I would rather have been with you. We could have done much more interesting things than visit the homes of old, dead women.”

I’d already told Spencer that I enjoyed the moors and the Brontes’ home. He hadn’t heard me then. He wouldn’t hear me now. I seemed to only matter within the context of his own existence.

“Maybe next time,” I said flatly, knowing there would be no next time. Not for us.

“Something’s different about you,” Spencer said in a quiet tone. His green eyes studied me intently. I wondered if he could see the truth. Could he tell that I was lying? Could he see that I knew something? Did he know something himself?

But I wasn’t the only one that had changed. Everything was different since Yorkshire. The world had shifted on its axis and now things felt upside down and inside out. It was as though I was looking in a mirror. Holden loved me. Spencer coveted me. I was Kerrigan, not Kate. I belonged to this world, not the one I left behind. None of it made any sense, and the longer I stayed here trying to understand, the crazier I felt.

“I need to go. I have a headache,” I lied. It was a lame excuse, but Spencer’s face softened, the cruel manipulativeness vanishing. Concern replaced it. How did he change direction so easily? Was it the gift of a politician or something else entirely?

I’d once thought that Holden was the unreadable brother. I was beginning to wonder if Spencer was hiding even more secrets.

“A headache? You should say then,” Spencer said.

“Don’t be silly. You have your hands full. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I kept my eyes on the door, not trusting myself to look at him. I reached for the doorknob, but he caught my wrist.

“Why don’t you tell me the truth?” The question seethed from him.

I pulled away, trying to break free of his grip, but his fingers tightened. “Let go. You’re hurting me.”

He ignored me. “Is something going on between you and Holden?”

I laughed, not because it was a ludicrous accusation. But because his timing was highly suspect. Despite having the weight of his family’s legacy on his shoulders, Spencer cared more about whether a woman he barely knew, who was the subject of an arranged marriage, wanted someone else. “No,” I said, frustration growing hot tendrils in my chest. “I hate Holden.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Spencer said darkly. For a moment, he looked so much like his twin that I shrunk under his gaze. “What does that mean?”

“I think you know exactly what it means,” he said, his voice dropping to an accusatory whisper. I waited for him to explain what he meant. Instead, he continued his interrogation. “Did you fuck him in Yorkshire?”

“What?” I sputtered. “Did I what?”

“Did you fuck him?” he repeated, each word popped out of his lips with hateful force.

“No.” I yanked my hand free, barely resisting the urge to slap him.

His head hung for a moment, a gesture I mistook for shame, until he asked his next question, “Did you want to?”

The words pierced me and struck me momentarily silent.

“I see,” he said, a muscle ticking his jaw. “I guess that’s my answer.”

I shook my head. He didn’t see. He didn’t understand. Spencer had no idea what was going on, but that wouldn’t stop him from making judgments. He thought I wanted to sleep with his brother. Maybe he was right. In fact, I knew he was, even if that desire had lulled. I had asked Holden to take me to bed. But he didn’t know me. Kate asked Holden to go to bed, not Kerrigan. Spencer had no claim to the real me nor did he know what was at stake. He had no idea how deeply we were all mired in lies. And it didn’t matter, because there was a fundamental flaw in our relationship.

Spencer Byrd believed he owned me.