Page 9 of Secret Dynasty

“How much have you had to drink?” I pointed to the bottle.

“I opened that one for the occasion,” he informed me. “We’re celebrating around here. The old tyrant is dead, but that doesn’t change the truth about you, dirty girl.”

“You’re drunk. I should go.” I turned to walk away.

“Just face it already,” he yelled. “Stop pretending!”

“What are you saying, Holden?” I asked slowly because I wasn’t certain I wanted to know the answer.

“You know what I’m saying.” He moved toward me, closing the distance between us. His fingers gripped my chin as he brought my gaze level with his own. Answers burned in his irises, and, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t turn away. “I loved you from the first moment we met. I hated you just as long because I always knew you weren’t mine. I knew you could never be mine. And when you ran, I stupidly thought you’d chosen me. I looked for you. I found you before Tod. I made sure you had money, and I waited for you to realize you were safe—that you could stop pretending. But you never stopped. You’re still doing it.”

At some point, I’d started to sob, but Holden didn’t stop. His eyes burned into mine, burrowing past the stories and confusion and lies into my soul itself.

“And the worst part is, that even as her, you chose him,” he said flatly.

Words I didn’t quite understand found themselves on my lips. “I didn’t have a choice. Spencer was part of the arrangement.”

He laughed again, and the cold hatred in it chilled me to the bone. “You still think this is about Spencer? After everything, Kerrigan?”

“Don’t call me Kerrigan,” I said, half-whisper, half plea.

“Kerrigan,” he repeated. “Who is this really about?”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I’m not…”

The refusal died on my lips. I couldn’t find the words to fight it any longer.

He released my chin, but I didn’t open my eyes. Holden trailed the back of his hand down my cheek. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“Why would I believe you?” I asked with a swallow.

“Because I love you.”

But I was already pulling away. His words didn’t matter. He’d betrayed me. He’d lied to me. He’d manipulated me and played Spencer’s games. He was worse than Tod. He was worse than all of them. He would blind himself to have her back. I couldn’t trust him. Not when he couldn’t see straight. But when I looked at him, I found the last thing I ever expected to see written across his handsome face.

Hope.

Anger swelled inside me until it boiled over, bursting from me. How could he look at me like that? How could he dare to love me after this? He hated me? I hated him more. It burned inside me in a molten rage, and I turned and released it with devastating force. “Then you’re either stupid or blind because I could never trust you. And if I can’t trust you, then I will never love you.”

His mouth fell open slightly and he stared back at me. Holden’s eyebrows raised in disbelief before he found a bemused smile. It was as empty as his eyes.

“What the fuck do you think is funny about this?” I seethed.

“I withdraw my previous statement,” he said flatly. “I was wrong. You aren’t gone.”

I opened my mouth to interrupt him, but it was too late. The words were already free of his mouth.

“Welcome back, Kerrigan.”

Chapter Five

Holden didn’t follow me as I flew out the door—away from him and his lies. I was a few steps from leaving Sparrow Court behind me, hopefully forever, when Spencer opened the door to his grandfather’s study. He paused, surprise flashing across his handsome face when he found me rushing past him.

“Kerrigan,” he called, but I continued.

I couldn’t stop. I needed to break free before I found my cage locked forever. Behind me, heavy footsteps followed me quickly. I’d nearly reached the front door when a palm slammed into the wood panel, preventing me from opening it.

“Where are you going? I was calling you!” Spencer sounded tired, and I looked up to see exhaustion written over his face. But it wasn’t from lack of sleep. This was exhaustion that only came from carrying the heavier burdens of life. It was a weight Spencer had carried since his father died. It had been there since the moment we met, but tonight it looked heavier than normal. Now that another death marked his life, I wondered how it would weigh him down. I wondered if he would ever be the same. “Evie told me you were here. She said I should come to find you.”