Page 65 of Knot What I Expected

“How about we have an adventure and take the bus to the mall?”

Matteo looks at me.

I know my false cheerfulness doesn’t fool him. That hurts too. But my sweet boy only grins.

“It’s okay, Mommy. The bus sounds fun.”

I could cry. Instead, I kiss the top of his head.

“The bus it is.”

It takes a few minutes to pull up the pickup location and get the public transportation schedule, but we find it just fine.

And really? Matteo makes everything better. Even riding the overcrowded bus.

We sit side by side while the bus winds through Ember Hollow, playing I Spy like there’s some kind of championship trophy waiting at the end.

“I spy something... red.”

“That truck.”

“Nope.”

“The sign.”

“Nope.”

“Your backpack?”

“My backpack is blue, Mommy.”

“I knew that.”

He giggles.

God, I live for that sound.

We’re halfway through an intense debate over whether burgundy technically counts as red when the bus passes the local elementary school.

Matteo goes quiet. I notice immediately. Kids race around outside.

Backpacks. Bright clothes. A few parents walking toward parked cars.

Matteo presses closer to the window. His eyes go round.

“Mommy?”

“Hmm?”

“When can I go to school?”

Oh.

Fuck.

My heart sinks.

School has already started. Weeks ago.