Page 66 of Knot What I Expected

He’d be late enrolling. That’s the excuse I’ve been giving myself anyway.

The truth? I’ve been afraid.

Matteo isn’t like those children.

I don't know exactly how different he is yet. But I know my son.

I’ve seen things. Tiny things. Things I can pretend are normal if I don’t examine them too closely.

What if something happens at school?

What if whatever is inside him decides to come out?

What if somebody recognizes it?

What if the wrong supernatural scents him?

What if Ethan finds him?

What if⁠—

“Mommy?”

I look down. Matteo is still staring out the window.

“Do you want to go?”

His head whips toward me.

“Oh, Mommy, I really do!”

Shit.

His whole face lights up.

“I could have friends! And recess. And maybe they have art. Do you think they have art?”

My throat closes. What kind of mother am I? I’ve been so focused on keeping him alive that maybe I forgot he needs to live.

“Yeah, baby. I bet they have art.”

“And lunch?”

“Pretty sure schools still do lunch.”

“And a library?”

“Probably.”

“Can I go?”

There it is. The question I’m terrified to answer. I take his little hand.

“We’ll see. I’ll look into it later. Okay?”

It isn’t a promise.

Not quite.