Page 94 of It Was Always You

September 2025

It surprised Lily to find that being back in the UK was a strain. This permanent change didn’t sit well with her. Okay, so she was a little traumatised from the situation she had found herself in while in Florida, but what do they say? You have to get straight back on the horse. Unfortunately, that horse had been allocated a new rider. Her bosses just didn’t feel she could cope with being out there again. Who were they to make such a life-changing decision for her without consultation? She had begun applying for new positions and had attended one interview that she had originally kept a secret from her mum and Adam. No point telling them until there was actual news to share. When the job offer had come through earlier in the week she’d had a long talk with her mum.

‘Lily, Mija, if you are going to be moving away you should tell Adam how you feel.’

Lily had sighed. ‘There’s no point, Mum. This latest woman he’s seeing seems perfect for him. I don’t want to lay myself out there and tell him how I feel only to lose him.’

Lenora had held her face in her palms. ‘I think you’re wrong, Lily. I have seen how he looks at you. You’re blind to it but I’ve seen it.’

‘No, Mum. You’ve seen love, yes, but only familial love. Not romantic love. You and Dad have given me an unrealistic idea of what love should look like.’ She smiled and placed her hands over her mum’s. ‘Not everyone’s as fortunate as you two were.’

‘I wish you would reconsider.’

‘Well, I can’t, Mum. And this job is probably just what I need. A fresh start.’

The only marginally good thing about her current situation was that she got to spend more time with Adam. Sadly, that was a double-edged sword that might just finish her off better than the hurricane’s attempts. She was tired of setting him up and helping him get ready for dates. She was emotionally drained, in fact. Surely he was capable of finding his own suitable clothing. She had started this whole thing off with the best intentions, but as always, her intentions had backfired.

This latest woman, however, was a tad different. She was, to all intents and purposes, perfect for him. Blonde (just his type), pretty (from the photo on his phone that he had shown her), intelligent (taught wee kids), and slim. This was his third date with her. Yes. Third. He was, as ever, nervous as hell, he told her on the phone. He had begged Lily to come over and help him get ready. Tonight, it was the last thing she wanted to do. He was a grown man, for goodness’ sake.

She finished off the last dregs of her cold coffee and climbed into the shower. Having been for a jog to try and clear her head, the last thing she needed was to go around to Adam’s stinking and give him yet another reason not to love her.

No, this was it. This was the last time. She was thirty-one years old.

Time to let go once and for all.

She let the hot water cascade over her body and face as the tears came. She had spent so much of her life in love with this man. This wonderful, protective, handsome, sensitive, caring man. But she had to let go now. She had suffered in silence for far too long. Never having the right opportunity to tell him how she felt. Not that it would make any difference. She would always be Lil – the best friend. Family. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Enough was enough.

Solemnly, she dressed in her favourite jeans and sweater. Applied a little make-up and did her best to tame her wild brunette curls. With a sigh, she climbed into the car and headed for Adam’s house. The bare-chested man opened the door before she had a chance to knock.

She stifled a gasp. His body never ceased to affect her. ‘Someone’s eager.’ She tried to smile and shifted her attention to the excited canine vying for her attention. ‘Hi, Monty, I’ve brought you a chewy stick.’ She pulled a grotesque-smelling thing from her pocket and Monty’s eyes lit up. A string of drool fell from the corner of his mouth as she coaxed him into the house and placed it on the floor. He waited for her cue. ‘Okay!’ The dog pounced on the chew and Lily giggled.

‘Thank goodness you’re here, Lil. I’m a wreck!’ Adam panted as he walked to the bottom of the stairs. ‘I’ve tried on five different shirts and three different pairs of jeans and trousers.’ He ran his hand through his luscious thick dark hair.

Her chest ached.

She forced a smile. ‘Good grief, you’re such a girl, Adders.’

‘I am… I am, aren’t I? Oh shit, Lil. She could be the one and I’m acting like a bloody teenager.’ He paced the room.

The one? ‘Look, just calm down, okay? So she’s perfect, but so are you.’ Lily bit her lip.

‘Huh? Oh yeah, I’m perfect all right. I’m sweating like a pig, I have emotional baggage, and I crumble under pressure. Perfect!’ He threw his hands up, clearly exasperated.

Sighing and rolling her eyes as she always did, she followed him up to his bedroom and walked over to the wardrobe door where all the shirts were waiting like washing hung untidily out to dry.

‘This is your third date, Adders. You haven’t put her off yet, so there’s no reason you will now. Right, where are you going?’

‘I’m taking her to Bella Roma. It’s quite a nice place but not exactly posh as such.’

Lily had only been once with a date. It was rather lovely. She remembered the owner was a sweet Italian man called Arlo.

She placed her hands on her hips. ‘Okay. You won’t need a tie, and you can wear jeans.’ She held a pair out to him. ‘These are the ones that make your backside look… I mean… erm… that… erm… these are the best ones.’ Her stomach did somersaults at her almost-slip-up.

He scrunched his face and then shook his head. ‘Okay… okay… shirt?’ He ragged his joggers off and stood there in just his boxers.

She tried to avert her eyes. But God, he really was perfect. In every possible way. She gulped as she felt the sting in her eyes. She would have to tell him soon. Tell him that she could no longer do this. That he was on his own. He had overcome his grief with her help, but he had to go it alone now. Emily sounded like she could be sticking around and that would be too hard to watch. She bit the inside of her cheek.