Page 36 of Sundown Somewhere

That’s all it takes. I crack.

The tears hit me like a linebacker coming at me on my blind side. I don’t see them coming, nor do I bother to try and hold them back. There’s no use. There’s too many, and the wild ride of unnamed emotional vomit inside me needs to come out. Looks like it’s going to come out in tears.

“Hey, hey,” Hux says, rushing into the bathroom and gathering me into his arms.

I don’t move. I continue to lean against the vanity, the faux marble countertop cool against the palms of my hands, Hux’s body warm as it surrounds me, the weird combination of the two keeping me grounded. The tears pick up, my body heaving, the weight of everything all too much.

I’ve never understood how people could say that one day they woke up and didn’t recognize their life. That they wondered how on earth they got here. Well, now I do. Because how did I get here? A jilted bride, crying in the bathroom of a B&B, because her childhood best friend wouldn’t kiss her.

Hux wouldn’t kiss me…

A sharp pain rips through me, causing a whole new flood of tears. I need to get away. Need some air.

I start to pull away, but Hux stops me. Scooping me up, he carries me over to the bed and sets me down gently before disappearing again. A second later, he’s right back in front of me, two small white pills in one hand, the coffee cup in the other.

Hero…

I take both, throwing pack the painkillers with a large slug of coffee, the taste mixing funny with the lingering toothpaste in my mouth. Leaning against the bureau, Hux parks himself across from me, arms crossed, his deep hazel eyes silently pressing me to confide in him. The man who has seen me at my worst and has always still loved me.

At least until last night.

“Why am I so unlovable?”

The question stumbles out of me, each word its own clumsy brick, hitting the one before it on the way down.

Hux lurches forward, crouching in front of me and resting his hands on my knees. His calloused hands are rough against my skin, yet I still want him to inch up my thighs and hold on to me in other places.

“Dolly, you are not unlovable. Not even close.”

“Recent events prove otherwise.”

“I’ve told you, he’s a dumbass and he doesn’t deserve you. You can’t let him dictate how you feel.”

If only it were only Jeff…

“You didn’t want to either.”

Hux inhales sharply, reeling backward. He’s up and on his feet in no time, running his hands through his hair. I can see the panic set in on his face, my calling him on it something he wasn’t counting on. If I know Hux—and I do—he wouldn’t have brought it up at all.

“You were drunk.”

“So? Hux, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ll fuck anything that moves,” I point out, not bothering to hide my snark.

“You were drunk,” he repeats. “Long past the point of any kind of consent.”

I huff, loving and hating that he’s the kind of guy who thinks about that kind of thing.

“I’m not drunk now.” I throw my arms out wide, my already unsteady self wobbling a bit on the bed. Hux leans forward instinctively, at the ready to catch me should I topple, but I straighten myself out. “So you’re saying you’d be down if I tried to make out with you now?”

“No, but you’re hungover,” he snaps. “And hangover decisions are just as bad as drunk ones.”

“Oh!” I pop up, wobbling again, the throbbing in my head strengthening with the move, almost making me dizzy. “So, I’d be just another bad decision? One of your many?”

I’m picking a fight and I know it. But I can’t seem to stop myself. Hux and I have never had a fight. Ever. And I hate, hate, hate that this is what our first one is about.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” He flexes his hands, trying to keep his composure. At least one of us is.

“What are you saying then?”