Page 86 of Aryn

“What if I’d said yes last night?” he demands. Shame closes my throat and makes my eyes burn as they drop to the floor, but Aryn isn’t done. “What if I’d fallen into that bed with you and given you everything you wanted, then stood here this morning as you told me it was a mistake? Did you even think about what that might do to me?”

“No,” I mumble.

“Selfish human,” he hisses, taking a long stride closer and gripping my chin, so much rougher than the way he held me just minutes ago. “You might be used to taking whatever you want in life and discarding it when you’re done, but not with me. I said I wouldn’t be your regret, but that doesn’t mean I’m yours to throw away when things get too complicated. I am patient, but I am not your toy to play with when you see fit.”

“Aryn—that’s not… I—”

“When is the last time you thought about anyone but yourself?”

It would’ve hurt less if he’d stabbed me right through the heart. After a lifetime of telling myself I’m the selfless one, that I’m the one giving up everything for the people around me, the realization that I’ve done nothing but take from him nearly drops me to my knees. I stagger backward until my legs hit the edge of the mattress and sink down, face dropping into my palms.

“I’m sorry,” I say again, but it’s barely a whisper this time.

A shadow falls over me, followed by a long sigh, then his hand is back in my hair. He brushes it with cautious fingers like he just can’t stay away. “We need to go, Cato.”

Not rha khor. Not wildfire.

Certainly not kitten.

Just Cato.

“Yeah, okay,” I agree as I stand, refusing to meet his eyes. We finish dressing and pack in silence, but it’s no longer comfortable. It’s loaded with everything I need to say and don’t know how, and filled with every old wound I’ve ripped open on us both. Once our bags are full, we step out of the room.

He holds the door open for me.

Despite the mess I’ve made of everything, he’s still putting me first.

I never cry, but right now I want to. Instead, I push the urge down deep and only give him a tense nod. Downstairs, the pub is quiet. Aryn returns our key to the innkeeper, and I spot the others at the same table we used for dinner last night.

“You doing alright this morning?” Cameron asks as I sit across from him. “Eyes look a little red.”

“I’m fine,” I mutter.

A plate of food drops in front of me—a large, steaming chunk of meat, a block of deep yellow hard cheese, and a vine of deep magenta fruit the size of large grapes. I glance up to find Aryn standing there, carrying his own breakfast.

“Thanks,” I offer softly. He nods, then walks to the other side of the table and sits beside Ronan.

My heart sinks a little further.

Cameron whistles quietly, eyes bouncing between me and Aryn. “What’d you do to get the cold shoulder?”

“Nothing,” I grunt as my eyes drift over to Aryn. His are fixed on me, but I can’t hold them for long. I stare at my plate, appetite suddenly gone.

“Yeah, that’s believable,” Cameron snorts through a bite. “He still got you that good breakfast, though.”

“I… what?” I ask, fork hovering in front of my mouth. I glance around the table to see everyone else eating bowls of oats.

Cameron must sense my confusion, because his snark drops a notch, and his voice gentles. “He wants to take care of you. I don’t know if it’s the mark or just their instinct, but even when he’s mad, he’s going to do it. He can’t help himself.”

I look across the table at Aryn. He’s quietly eating his bowl of oats, but I can tell he’s paying attention. Even now, after everything I said—and didn’t say—upstairs, he made sure I had something better than the rest of them.

The guilt gets heavier.

I want to tell him I’m sorry again, but the words stick in my throat like broken glass. So instead I just eat the breakfast he brought me, tasting nothing. Every bite feels like another debt I don’t know how to repay.

When we finally stand to leave, Aryn falls into step beside me without a word. His shoulder brushes mine once, deliberately, in what feels like an apology for something he didn’t do. We walk out of River’s Rest and back into the cold morning air of Thralune, then pass through the gates to face the long road ahead.

I don’t want to lose this.