Page 34 of My Family

"I'm seeing someone. More than seeing, actually, she's already moved in."

My jaw drops. Wasn't expecting that.

"Wow, Dad. That's… that's really great." I say it, and I genuinely don't know if it's great. Him replacing my mom. Well, my mom has been dead for a long time, and he's never dated anyone… maybe partly because of me, because now that I'm out of the picture he's free to do whatever. But I promise myself, about a million times just in that moment, that I'm not going to be resentful about it.

"Her name is Marianne," he says. "And we're going to get married."

"You are?!" I practically yelp.

"Not anytime soon, don't worry. But it's serious. I waited six months to tell you… wanted to be sure."

We sit in silence for a second.

"What's she like?" I ask. Better to just get it out of the way.

"She's wonderful, Liam." That stupid grin on his face. "I've never felt this alive, this happy." I recognize that look. It's the same one I probably have when I talk about Ethan. So it has to be real. "She knows you're here," he says, before I can ask.

"And what does she think about it?"

"Well, she said you're an adult and you know your own situation."

I don't know what to make of that answer. Better than calling me a fuckup, at least.

"Does she have kids?" I ask.

"A daughter. She's at Harvard."

"Her daughter's at Harvard and your son's in prison," I say flatly.

"Don't say it like that. She knows you're everything to me. We don't compare you two."

I'm already comparing us, and I don't even know the girl, so I doubt it's that simple. But I say nothing.

"Right," I say, not sure what else to add. I'd thought about mentioning Ethan, that we’re still together, but if we're not going to actually end up together, better not to open that door. That thought keeps me occupied for a second, and I quickly change subjects.

"What's your prediction for the Super Bowl this year?"

And just like that, we're back on football. Our hour goes by fast.

When I stand up to go, part of me is almost relieved to go back inside. With my dad, I have to watch myself constantly, don't want to say anything that would worry him or make him realize I'm not doing great. But Marianne's imaginary face keeps floating around in my head. Living in my house. Maybe using my room. Her daughter at Harvard.

Well, she's right that I'm an adult who knows my own situation. My dad doesn't owe me anything anymore. That isn't my house. It's his, and if he marries her, it will be theirs.

Which makes it pretty clear that I don't have anywhere to go back to.

Chapter 13. Liam

The rest of the day is really strange.

Ethan isn't coming back for a while. He can't say how long, but he's doing the overnight shift, which means he isn't even going to sleep at the facility. That thought is completely insane to me, and horrible, because I hate sleeping alone. We always share his bed and sleep tangled up together.

During MMA, I push through the session with as much energy as I can fake, because Griff is like a dad to all of us — which is annoying most of the time, honestly, because he always wants to make sure we're okay, and the truth is we're kind of always not okay. I don't want that conversation. So I go as hard as I can against Jack, and when I have to rotate partners, I end up with Reed.

I don't love sparring with Reed. The guy is a maniac. You can never tell if he's in a good mood and will go easy on you, laugh, maybe even teach you something, or if he's just going to beat the shit out of you. Most of the time it's the second option. He's the best fighter in the place and sometimes gets bored by how far below him everyone else is, so he entertains himself by going harder than necessary. And since he's the director's nephew, Griff can barely punish him — best case scenario is a talking-to that Reed openly ignores. Sometimes Reed is cool. But given his reputation as a loose cannon, keeping your distance is the smarter play.

Except this time he calls me over, and I want to prove to Griff I'm doing great, thank you very much — I'm even bouncing on my heels. Nobody who's not okay bounces on their heels. My logic is airtight.

When I get in front of him, I notice he's picked a spot on the mat a little further from the others. Near the wall, away from the other pairs. He smiles at me with those vaguely murderous eyes.