Page 35 of My Family

He's incredibly hot. Massive — definitely on something, has to be. Tattoos all the way up both arms, neck, stomach, which I try not to stare at when he takes his shirt off to spar. There's a scar on his face that makes him look even more threatening and somehow even more attractive. Ethan hates his guts and gets jealous about it, so I usually keep my distance when I can help it — especially since the year before Reed had made a move on me, which I'd obviously turned down. I would never hurt Ethan on purpose. I love Ethan. I would do anything to stay with him forever. I just need to stop reminding myself that forever probably isn't on the table.

I don't react when Reed looks me up and down with that smile and says, "Looks like Daddy's not here today."

He says it while bouncing from foot to foot, warming up, then adds: "Get in your stance. I'm going to start throwing and I don't want you falling apart on me."

I do what he says, raising both fists in front of my face.

"He got a placement at a hospital," I say, slipping two punches. "Doing his clinical hours."

I don't know why I tell him that. It isn't a secret, sure, but I also don't need Reed knowing Ethan's business. Reed raises his eyebrows.

"Interesting," he says, and throws another shot I barely get out of the way of. It's that fast. If it had landed, I'd have a black eye for a week. Griff always says that's fine, that MMA builds character.

"So you're on your own," he says. Not a question.

I shrug. "I mean, he's coming back."

"I know he's coming back. But you know that's just for a while until he leaves again for good, right?" He pauses mid-combination. "You thought about that?"

I look at him hard. It’s one thing when my own brain throws that in my face. It’s another hearing it from Reed.

He seems to realize he's gone too far. Stops bouncing for a second.

"My bad," he says.

I wasn't expecting that at all.

"It's fine," I say.

The truth is he probably knows what that feels like. He lost Mason too when Mason got transferred. But I don't expect any kind of empathy from Reed. I don't expect anything from him.

"Hey," he says. "If you're feeling lonely, you can hang around me."

That's even more shocking. It doesn't sound sarcastic. He means it, like having just given me shit has handed him a moment of actual conscience.

I'm not going to ruin it. Especially since he can still hit me hard enough to put me to sleep.

"Thanks," I say, and I mean it.

We keep training. This time he slows down, stops, and says, "Look, you're dropping your guard here."

He takes my hand and repositions it. No roughness at all, which is genuinely shocking coming from him.

"Thanks," I say again, and settle into the stance the way he's shown me.

He smiles, satisfied.

"There you go. You pick things up fast."

I don't know why that makes me blush. Stupid, embarrassing reaction. I don’t want to admit that his approval feels way too good. But he notices. He laughs.

Later in the rec room, things are even worse.

Jack has been in a rough place lately. You can never tell if he's going to be okay or depressed. That whole situation with his sister maybe losing the tattoo shop has gutted his future as an apprentice there. He'd had the self-awareness to go talk to Griff about it — which, I have to say, is completely out of character for him, because Jack is usually the class clown who deflects everything with a joke — and Griff is so proud he actually brings it up at morning assembly, with Jack's permission: "I want to share that Perry came to me because he was struggling, and we're going to start sessions with Dr. Herrera. Good on you, Perry."

Jack actually looks proud up there in the spotlight. If it had been me, I would've died on the spot.

I'm glad he's taking care of himself. But it also means there are still days when he's doing badly and just doesn't show up to rec. That looks like one of those days.