Page 38 of My Family

Nouha passes by the break room door, sees my face, and says, "Go home, Farley. You did well today."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Of course." She pauses a second before leaving. "And Ethan… you have a real gift for this. I mean it. I don't say this to everyone, I promise."

I don't say anything. But on the ride back, those words stay with me. You have a real gift for this.

I do. I've always known I do. It's just different knowing something in your head versus feeling it land in your body.

I also think about how I'm homesick for a place that is a correctional facility, which says something about me that I'm not entirely sure how to interpret.

The transport arrives. I go back.

I manage to catch a few minutes of sleep on the bus, but it's already close to lunchtime by the time I arrive. At Aspire, things work the way they work. What needs to be done gets done, regardless of how wrecked you are. So I go to my room, sleep for a couple of hours, get up, and realize I'm running a few minutes late. Everyone is probably in the cafeteria by now. I don't care. I'm ridiculously happy to be back. I'd missed him all night, that deep, physical ache of missing someone, and all I want is to be near him.

But the second I step into the dining hall, I immediately sense something is off. I look straight at our usual table. Liam isn't there. Just Miles, sitting by himself. No sign of Jack anywhere, either.

I scan the room. My heart sinks. Liam is at Reed's table. And he's laughing at something Reed has said, leaning in slightly, way too close. My jaw clenches before I've even consciously decided to be angry. A horrible thought flashes through my mind before I can stop it: he's already replacing you. I know Liam would never do that to me. I know it. But the anger has already settled in my chest, and all logic is just gone. All I can see is Liam sitting too close to Reed, laughing, looking entirely at ease.

I think about not going over there. Letting him notice me on his own. But I know I can't spend the whole lunch sitting somewhere else, watching that. And knowing Liam, he might not even realize I'm back.

I walk straight over to Reed's table. For a split second, my heart does this stupid, awful thing, because Liam looks at me and breaks into the biggest smile in the world when he sees me.

Then Reed smiles too, that wicked, predatory smirk I hate with every cell in my body, and says, "Daddy's home. Welcome back, baby."

Someone at the table snickers.

I stop next to Liam and say, keeping my voice steady, "Can I talk to you outside?"

His eyes go wide, catching exactly what I'm not saying out loud. But Liam never backs down easily, and when he registers the look on my face, his jaw sets and he stands up, ready to face me down.

"Ooh, Liam's in trouble with Daddy," Reed teases.

I would genuinely love to punch him in the face. I've done it before, and the urge is definitely back.

"What?!" Liam demands, facing me.

"Outside," I repeat.

We walk out into the hallway. It's empty, as everyone is at lunch. The second the door clicks shut, Liam turns on me.

"What is your problem?" he snaps, his voice already trembling, his eyes shining.

I don't want to deal with him like this. But this boy makes me completely lose my mind. "My problem is that you're mine," I say. "I don't want you laughing it up with him while I'm away."

"He's not a bad guy," Liam argues, holding my gaze even as the tears well up. I know him. He cries over absolutely everything, but he never, ever gives up on a fight. That's our problem. We're both way too hot-headed. "He stuck by me while you were gone. You know I hate being alone."

"And now you're defending him to my face."

"You're the one who left!" he shoots back, and the words hit me dead center. "You left me here alone. He helped me. He stayed close while you were gone. And you know that if I could, I would never leave your side, but you’re the one who was too busy, and now you come back picking a fight?"

"I saw how close you two were sitting."

"Do you want me to just sit in a corner by myself while you're out there living your life?" His voice cracks. "I thought you'd be proud that I didn't fall apart. I thought I was doing well."

A tear slips down his cheek, and I feel like the worst human being on the planet. I pull him in. He shoves at my chest, trying to break free, but I hold on until the fight drains out of him and he goes still. Even when he's angry, his body remembers exactly how to fit into mine.

"I'm sorry," I murmur into his hair.