Page 39 of My Family

"You're an idiot," he mumbles, muffled against my chest. The hands that had been pushing me away are now just resting against my ribs, his fists unclenching.

"I'm jealous. I get ridiculously jealous over you, especially with Reed."

"He's not as bad as you think," he mutters.

A fresh wave of irritation washes over me. I let it go.

"I'm glad he was there for you. And I'm sorry I left you alone. It’s going to be like this from now on. That’s just our reality now, but I promise you, I will always come back."

He stays quiet. Then, very softly: "Until you don't."

I pull back to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"Let's face facts." His voice is steady now, the way it gets when he's saying something he's been carrying around for a long time. "You're almost done with the program. When you finish clinicals, they'll offer you a job. You'll be let out. And I’ll stay here." He wipes his face with the back of his hand. "I need to start accepting that we aren't going to work out."

"That's not true…!"

"I know you don't want it to be true. I know you'd wait for me." He looks up at me, crying openly now, not even trying to hide it. "But I'm not going to hold you back. You're going to leave and live your life, and I won't let you put everything on hold waiting for me."

"Don't tell me what to do with my life," I say, sharper than I intend. "If I say I'm going to wait for you, I'll wait for you. I'll do everything I can to support you even from a distance, and you don't get to decide that for me." I pause and hate myself for what comes next even as the words leave my mouth: "Unless the point is that you just want to get rid of me now so you can hook up with someone like Reed."

He shoves me hard. I pin him against my chest. He fights me for real for a second, really tries to break free, and then gives up, because I'm stronger, and he hates that I'm stronger. He lets out a furious huff of breath and stops.

"You absolute idiot," he says. "All I want is you."

"I know," I say. "Me too."

He relaxes a little more in my arms, dropping his forehead against my chest. "Then why are we fighting?"

"I don't know," I say.

Silence. And then he lets out that small, wet laugh, and the tight knot in my chest finally gives way.

"We're two idiots, aren't we," he says.

"Two absolute idiots," I agree.

He has completely melted against me by now, all the tension gone. I kiss the top of his head. He smells like shampoo.

"I love you, you idiot," he says.

"I love you too, baby," I say.

We stay like that for a while, just standing in the hallway, holding each other. I'm still a long way from getting out. Starting clinicals doesn't mean anything yet. But I realize this is going to be a real problem down the line, because maybe he's serious. Maybe when I leave, he'll want to break up, thinking he's setting me free, that it's the right thing to do. All that idiotic nonsense.

"I just want you to know," I say, not letting him go. "No matter where we are. I don't want to be without you."

He nods against my chest, quiet, resolute for now. I hope it lasts at least a little while.

Chapter 15. Liam

His office door is closed, but the light's on. I knock once, then twice. Fuck, I want to keep knocking, but I hold myself back. There’s a pause before the door opens. He’d told me to be here. I am, of course. I always do as I'm told. Good boy that I am. At least for him.

He stares at me for half a second. Then, without a word, he grabs my shirt and yanks me inside, closing the door behind us. He locks it, then puts both hands flat against the door on either side of my head. The look on his face is wild, hungry, starved. Fuck, that's my favorite expression in the whole wide world.

I barely get out a "Hey," before his mouth is on mine.

It's not gentle. It's not careful. His hands are everywhere, first at my jaw, then sliding up my cheeks, then fisted in my hair so hard I gasp. His teeth nick my lip. He's bigger than me, but I know exactly how to set my jaw and angle my hips so he feels me against him. His tongue in my mouth, the taste of mint toothpaste, the hot press of his body. It's all him. Fuck, it's him, it's him, it's him, it's my Daddy!