Page 82 of My Family

"That was different."

"It's a supervised sporting event for delinquents. I'm surprised if one of you doesn't come back dead," Harry says.

"You're not helping, Harry," Ethan scolds him.

"I'm not trying to help. I'm trying to read."

"You've been on the same page for fifteen minutes," Ethan points out.

Harry closes the magazine. "Fine. I'm nervous too. Happy?"

Jack grins, and some of the tension in the room releases. "Yeah, actually. Misery loves company, or something."

Tyler appears in the doorway. His curly brown hair is still damp from the shower, he's in his gray sweats and a black T-shirt, and he's got that careful Farley blankness on his face that means he's trying not to look like he wants something.

"Can I…" he starts, then stops, looking at Ethan's bed, then at me, then at the floor.

"Get in here," Jack says, scooting over. "We're having a pre-war council. Harry's providing moral support by being useless."

"Fuck you, Jack," Harry says.

Tyler slips inside and sits on the edge of Jack's bunk, his hands clasped between his knees. He doesn't say anything for a while.

"I've never competed before," he says finally.

"Neither have I," I say.

"You'll both be fine," Ethan says from his bed. He's sitting up, back against the wall, one leg stretched out, the other bent, his elbow resting on his knee. "It'll be fun."

Then he looks at me, pats his bed, and I go there like an obedient puppy, which I am.

"Jesus, Liam. He has you on a leash," Harry says.

"And I bark for treats too," I say.

Jack and Tyler laugh.

I lay my head on Ethan's thigh, and he starts playing with my hair.

"We all know Liam's the one who has Ethan doing whatever he wants," Jack adds.

It's true.

"You two are disgusting," Tyler says. "Get a room. I mean. A different room. An empty room."

"You should go to your room," Ethan says.

"Nah. Reed is there, and he's making me nervous," Tyler says. "He says he's meditating, but he's actually staring at the wall without blinking. It's bizarre."

I laugh, imagining Reed.

We keep talking until lights out, when Tyler has to go. I lie with Ethan, and he hugs me tight like I'm his personal teddy bear. He's warm, and I bury my head in his chest, as usual.

He smells amazing, and it's the only way I can sleep without my brain eating itself alive.

Chapter 29. Ethan

The alarm doesn't wake me. Liam does, or rather, the absence of him does, the sudden cold where his body was, the missing weight against my chest that my sleeping brain interprets as something gone wrong. I sit up fast, heart already in my throat, and find him standing by the bed in his briefs, arms crossed, staring at his clothes lined up on the comforter. Not yet dawn.