Page 83 of My Family

"Hey," I say. My voice is rough with sleep. "How long have you been up?"

"Didn't really sleep. You know when you can't tell if you're asleep or not? The whole night like that." His hands are fidgeting at his sides, fingers drumming against his thighs. "My stomach's doing a thing."

"It's okay, baby. Daddy's here. Come here."

I swing my legs off the bunk and go to him. I hug him tight, then put my hands on his shoulders, feel the tension in them, and press my thumbs into the knots at the base of his neck. He exhales, long and shaky, and leans back into me.

"You're going to be fine," I say.

"You don't know that."

"I do. I trained you."

He chuckles softly. "They're going to wipe the floor with my face."

"Well, you do like pain," I joke. He laughs again, burying his face in my neck, and I kiss him. "Griff believes in you, and so do I. And you don't need to win. I never won."

"And you're much better than me!" he exclaims.

"The point is, you're going to have fun, and we'll be there together."

"Thank you, Daddy," he says softly. It always does something to me when he says things like that.

Then there's the buzzer, the groaning around us, the lights coming on automatically. I can tell we're all nervous. Maybe even me. But we get ready nonetheless.

We spend the day basically on autopilot. We leave at four, with the competition scheduled for the next day. The hours drag, and Liam is a ball of nerves by the time we all meet in the admin block and are taken to the parking lot.

We get to the white van, the same one that brought us in, with "Penitentiary System" written on its side and "Aspire Academy" below it, with a grille separating us from the driver. We pile in. Reed first, and he takes the back corner, stretches his legs across the seat, and closes his eyes like a man settling into first class. It had to be Reed. Tyler tries to sit as far from Reed as the van allows, pressing himself against the window in the front row.

Jack vaults in, catches his foot on the bench, stumbles, recovers, and drops into the middle row with a grin that says he meant to do that. Dan and Cedric follow. Dan has dark skin and is always quiet. Cedric is the same height as Liam, has brown hair and eyes, and sits beside Dan. Santana slides in too, with his shaved head. Liam climbs in, and I follow, taking the spot beside him in the middle row. Our thighs press together in the cramped space. Then Santos gets in to ride in the back with us. Her name is Janette Santos, and she was the one who supervised Liam during meals last year. Patterson drives up front, and Griff is in the seat next to him.

The gates open and we move. Behind us, Aspire shrinks in the side mirror. I love seeing it shrink like that.

Three hours of highway. The windows don't open, but the AC is pleasantly cool, and soon enough the kids start talking shit, as usual.

"I'm going to destroy someone," Santana says, cracking his knuckles. "I can feel it. The universe has aligned. We're getting into Scorpio season."

"The universe doesn't care about your fight record," Cedric says.

"The universe absolutely cares. I had a dream about it. I was a lion," Santana says.

Jack laughs, immediately hooked.

"You were a lion?!" Jack asks, as if it makes any difference.

Reed grunts at us for disrupting his beauty sleep.

"A big one, with a mane. It was very symbolic. I believe this shit. You can't tell me that being alive is just this physical existence."

Dan leans forward, his deep voice cutting in. "I once had a dream I was a fish. Doesn't mean I can swim."

"You can't swim?" Jack turns around, delighted. "How can you not swim?"

"I grew up in Akron. Where would I swim?"

"A pool? A bathtub? A large puddle?"

Liam laughs. I'm glad. Jack can always make him laugh.