Page 20 of Certified to Handle You 3

My dick jumped in my palm, hard and heavy, and I shook my head. I had been tryna get Sha’Nelle out my system, and I was still dreamin’ about that damn woman laid open for me like she ain’t belong to somebody else.

I let the band snap back against my stomach and dropped my head against the pillow. My eyes closed, but that ain’t help nothin’ ‘cause she was still there. Her voice was still in my head. Her body was still under my hands. That ring was still on her finger in my mind, and even in a dream where everything went crazy, she still had me fucked up.

I rubbed my hand down my face and stared at the ceilin’ again.

The longer I thought about that dream, the more that shit started makin’ sense. My dick ain’t disappear for nothin’. My mind was tellin’ me what my body already knew…

It wasn’t just my heart Sha’Nelle had. She had my dick too, and that shit was sad as fuck ‘cause no matter how mad I was, no matter how bad I wanted to act like I could go find somebody else, my body ain’t move like that for nobody but her.

While I laid here tryna shake this feelin’ off, my dick stayed hard in my briefs like it ain’t give a damn about none of the sense I was tryna talk into myself. I looked down at my shit again and let out a low breath through my nose, aggravated all over again ‘cause I had woke up from a dream and still couldn’t get away from her.

“Fuck this,” I mumbled, pushin’ the covers off me.

I got out the bed and walked in the bathroom with my body still hot and my head full of too much shit I ain’t ask for. I took a piss, then grabbed two towels from the cabinet before I turned the shower on.

The room started fillin’ with steam while I stood here in my briefs, lookin’ down at my dick. That muthafucka was thick against the cotton, hard like Sha’Nelle was somewhere in the bathroom with me and that alone made me shake my head.

I came out my briefs and stepped in the shower, lettin’ the hot water hit my shoulders first. I closed my eyes and stood under it for a minute, hopin’ the heat would work some of this tension out my body. Water ran over my head, down my beard, over my chest and I let it beat against me while I tried to clear my mind.

I told myself I was up now. The dream was over. It wasn’t no ring on Sha’Nelle finger or her laid out under me. It wasn’t no wife in my bed, no wet pussy on my tongue and no reason for me to still be standin’ here hard enough to be mad about it.

Then my mind went right back to her anyway.

It ain’t even go to the part where I thought I lost my damn dick. That was some weird shit, but that ain’t what was stuck to me. What stayed was her body laid open for me with all that thickness spread across my bed while she held herself wide like she knew I needed to see every part of her. It was how wet she was against my mouth and how her pussy beat on my tongue every time I sucked her clit. It was how she sounded when I licked lower, how her moans got shaky and how her fingers stayed in my waves like she was scared I would pull away before she got what she needed.

I grabbed my soap and washcloth, but my hand moved slow ‘cause my head was already gone.

I washed my chest, my arms and my stomach while the water ran hot over my back, but all I could see was that dream. Sha’Nelle’s thighs tremblin’ on both sides of my head, her ass in my hands and her nails in my scalp. Her mouth sayin’ my name like she ain’t never learned nobody else’s. Then that ring flashed in my mind, blue and heavy on her finger, sittin’ there like proof that for one fucked up moment in my sleep, she was mine the way I wanted her to be.

That shit felt too good, and I hated that it did.

I dropped my head forward and let the water run down the back of my neck. My hand slid lower before I even thought about it, and I ain’t realize I was grippin’ my dick until my shit jumped in my palm.

I stood here with the soap slick on my fingers and my breath comin’ out heavier than it needed to, mad as hell ‘cause my body wasn’t listenin’.

I could be mad at Sha’Nelle all day. I could tell myself I was done with her until I believed it for a few minutes, but my dick had no pride, no discipline and no respect for what I was tryna survive.

I stroked myself slow at first, just enough to take the edge off that ache sittin’ low in my stomach. The soap made my hand glide easy, and I closed my eyes when the first pull sent heat up my spine.

I should’ve stopped there. I should’ve rinsed off, got out the shower and found somethin’ else to do with myself besides standin’ under hot water beatin’ my dick behind a woman who had another nigga ring on her finger in real life.

But the second I saw her in my head again, I tightened my grip…

“Fuck,” I breathed out, my voice low under the water.

I stroked harder, movin’ my thumb over the head while the water hit my chest and ran down between my fingers.

My mind dragged me right back into the dream, but this time I put myself past all the impossible shit and took her how I had wanted to. I pictured myself inside her, fuckin’ her slow while her legs stayed wrapped around me and her mouth stayed close to mine.

I could almost hear her tellin’ me she missed me. I could feel that thick body under mine, soft in all the places that made a nigga lose focus and warm enough to make me forget why I had been mad in the first place.

I missed that bitch so bad it made me feel stupid.

Not soft or weak... but stupid...

I was a grown ass man standin’ in the shower with my hand wrapped around my dick, moanin’ low with my forehead almost touchin’ the tile ‘cause Sha’Nelle Harper had crawled into my sleep and left my body actin’ like it ain’t belong to me.

I stroked faster, my mouth partin’ while my brows pulled together. The water was still hot, the soap was slick and every pull of my hand made the pressure build deeper until I had to brace one hand against the wall.