Page 21 of Certified to Handle You 3

Her face came back to me next… Them deep brown eyes, the way she looked at me and the way all that mouth of hers would get quiet once I had her where I wanted her. I thought about her walkin’ away from me with all that ass movin’ under whatever she had on, and my jaw twitched ‘cause even that memory had me messed up. She had a body made for a nigga to grab and a face pretty enough to make him forget why he was supposed to let go.

I squeezed the head of my dick and stroked up into my fist, and the picture of her squirtin’ all over me hit so clear I cursed under my breath. That was all it took. My hips jerked forward into my hand, and my stomach tightened hard.

“Shit,” I moaned with my grip locked around my dick while I came.

Nut spilled between my fingers and washed down with the water, but I kept strokin’ through it ‘cause the orgasm hit harder than I expected.

My knees dipped for a second, and I had to plant my hand against the tile to keep myself right. I ain’t know if it hit like this ‘cause I had been holdin’ too much in my body, or ‘cause every bit of it had Sha’Nelle’s name attached to it. Either way, I stood here breathin’ rough while the shower kept runnin’ and the last of the nut dripped down my dick before disappearin’ on the floor.

When it passed, that good feelin’ ain’t stay long.

That was the part that pissed me off the most. For a few seconds, my body got what it wanted, and then soon as I came down, all I had left was the same empty ass frustration.

I looked down at myself and shook my head ‘cause I ain’t know how many more times I could do this shit before I got tired of my own hand. Beatin’ my dick wasn’t enough, and that was what had me ready to put my fist through somethin’. It gave me relief, but it ain’t give me her. It ain’t put her in my bed. It ain’t make her mine. It ain’t erase the fact that I was in the shower tryna wash off a woman I couldn’t stop wantin’.

I stood here a minute longer, lettin’ the water hit my face while I got myself together. Then I grabbed the washcloth again and finished washin’ my body, slow and quiet before rinsin’ the soap off. The steam had the mirror fogged up, and the bathroom felt too hot, but I stayed under the water until my skin got used to it.

After I rinsed, I cut the shower off and stepped out. Steam rolled out with me, stickin’ to my skin while I reached for one of the towels I had grabbed and dragged it over my face first. I wiped the water out my beard, then rubbed it over my chest and arms before wrappin’ it low around my waist. My body felt calmer, but my head didn’t.

I walked out the bathroom and in my room with the towel hangin’ off my hips, the floor cool under my feet and everything quiet around me.

For a second, I just stood here lookin’ around like I was tryna remember what I was supposed to do next. My bed was still messy from how I had woke up. The sheets was twisted, one pillow halfway off the mattress, and the sunlight comin’ through the curtains made everything look too normal for what was goin’ on inside me.

I went to the dresser, grabbed my weed, and sat on the edge of the bed with it. I broke it down, put it in the paper, and rolled it tight enough to smoke right. Soon as I sparked it, I pulled in a long hit and let the smoke sit in my chest for a second before I blew it out toward the ceilin’.

I leaned back against the headboard with the towel still around me and the blunt between my fingers.

I took another pull that was slower this time, and tried to let the weed push some of that weight off me. It helped for about three seconds before my eyes landed on my phone on.

I ain’t wanna touch it…

I looked at the phone for a minute, then reached for it anyway.

I saw I had missed calls from numbers I ain’t recognize, and texts sittin’ under ‘em.

I stared at the screen with the blunt between my fingers, already knowin’ who it was before I opened anything.

Sha’Nelle ain’t called in a minute, so seein’ them new numbers pop up had me sittin’ here for a second like, damn… especially after I just beat my damn dick while thinkin’ about her.

I ran my hand down my face, and opened the messages.

Unknown number: I miss you.

Unknown number: Please call me.

Unknown number: I love you.

I sat here readin’ them words with smoke burnin’ between my fingers and my towel still low on my waist.

“Yo,” I mumbled.

That was all I had, ’cause what the fuck was I supposed to do with that?

It had been weeks of not hearin’ from her, weeks of tryna get my mind to stop reachin’ where my hands couldn’t and now here she was, hittin’ my phone like she ain’t know exactly what them words would do to me.

I read ‘em again, then locked the phone before I got stupid.

A few seconds passed, and I unlocked it right back like that made any kind of sense. My thumb went to the call button, and I sat here lookin’ at it with my blunt halfway to my mouth.