Page 80 of Certified to Handle You 3

Pressure came past me with his cup and bumped mine with his. “You enjoyin’ yo’self?”

Yeah, I am,” I said, takin’ another drink.

“That’s wussup.”

Blaq was already standin’ with us, and Kay’Lo joined us a minute later with his drink in his hand. We stood here choppin’ it up for a while about some shit Pressure had goin’ on, then the conversation moved to what everybody had planned for the rest of the week.

Blaq was supposed to handle some shit the next mornin’ and was already complainin’ about how early he had to get up after drinkin’ tonight.

I looked down at the Rolex on my wrist again and rubbed my thumb across the side of it. I still couldn’t believe them niggas bought me this shit, but I wasn’t about to spend the rest of the night gettin’ emotional every time I looked at it. I had already let enough show earlier. Tonight I wanted to drink, laugh and enjoy the people who showed up for me.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, the music got turned down and everybody started movin’ toward one side of the room.

I looked over and saw the cakes. Mine and Pluto’s was set apart from each other instead of bein’ some lil’ matchin’ birthday shit. Both of ‘em looked expensive as hell, which ain’t surprise me at all. Nobody around us knew how to buy some regular ass cake from a bakery and call it a day. Even the damn candles looked like somebody had thought too hard about ‘em.

Pluto came over next to me with her drink in her hand, smilin’ while everybody gathered around us.

“Come here,” I told her.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her against my side while keepin’ my cup in my other hand. Pluto leaned into me and looked around at everybody as the first few people started singin’ happy birthday. The rest of the family joined in, and before long the whole room was loud with it.

I looked around while they sang and couldn’t stop the smile on my face.

My mama was singin’ like she was in church. Pops had a smile on his face while he watched me. Pressure was loud as hell and nowhere near the right note, and Kay’Lo wasn’t no damn better. Blaq was singin’ with his cup held up, and a couple of my cousins was laughin’ at somethin’ while still tryna keep up with the song.

Pluto looked up at me. “They sound terrible.”

I laughed. “Every last one of ’em.”

Pressure shook his head at me and pointed in our direction. “Blow the fuckin’ candles out, nigga.”

Pluto laughed and moved closer to her cake. I set my cup down and leaned toward mine, and we both blew our candles out while everybody started clappin’ and yellin’ again.

After that, people started comin’ at us from every direction.

I hugged my mama again even though she had already hugged me about four times tonight. Pops pulled me in and slapped my back before tellin’ me happy birthday again. My aunties came through, then my uncles, then my cousins, and by the time I got through everybody, I was halfway ready to sit my ass down somewhere.

Then Toni walked up. I saw her comin’ before she got to me, and somethin’ in me shifted without permission.

Toni had been family to me for too long for me to look at her like she had everything to do with what was happenin’ between me and Sha’Nelle. She didn’t, and I knew that. Still, seein’ her this close after I had spent months doin’ everything I could not to hear Sha’Nelle’s name or think about what she was doin’ made that shit hit me in a place I wasn’t expectin’.

Toni stopped in front of me and looked up. For a second, she ain’t say nothin’. Her eyes moved over my face like she was lookin’ for somethin’, and I could tell there was a whole conversation sittin’ behind her mouth that she wasn’t gon’ have. I knew Kay’Lo had already told her to stay out my shit with her cousin, and Toni knew better than to come over here tonight and start diggin’ into somethin’ I clearly wasn’t ready to talk about.

Instead, she held her arms out.

I looked at her for another second before puttin’ my cup down. Toni wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tight. The hug got me more than I wanted it to.

I hugged her back and closed my eyes for a second while she held on. I ain’t wanna make the moment bigger than what it was, but I needed Toni to know I ain’t have no problem with her. Whatever happened between me and Sha’Nelle wasn’t gon’ change what Toni meant to the family or how I treated her. I kissed her on the cheek before loosenin’ my arms around her.

She pulled back slowly and looked at me again. “Happy birthday, Renza.”

“I appreciate it.”

Her lips pressed together like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t and I respected that.

Toni gave me a smile before turnin’ and walkin’ back toward Kay’Lo. He opened his arm for her before she even got all the way over there, and she stepped right into him. Kay’Lo wrapped both arms around her waist and kissed her temple while she leaned against his chest.

I looked at ‘em a second longer than I meant to, ‘cause that simple shit did somethin’ to me. It wasn’t jealousy or no wild shit like that. I loved seein’ my cousin happy, and Toni fit right where she was standin’. The problem was that watchin’ her settle into him made my mind go somewhere I ain’t want it goin’. It made me think about havin’ somebody who knew exactly where they belonged beside you. Somebody you could reach for without thinkin’, and who could walk across a room and make you feel like everything in it got quieter.