Page 160 of Make Me Laugh

I shake my head lightly. “No, I uh…” Biting my lip gives me time to come clean with the secret plan I haven’t told anyone about yet. I puff a breath of air through my nose and get on with it. “I was thinking maybe I’d see if I can find an agency in Boston. Ask Enzo if he wants to stick around and help with the transition. We do okay as roommates, surprisingly.”

Joey’s smile, the one that makes me fall more in love with her every time I see it, spreads across her lips. “Is that why you turned down the one in LA?”

I cup her cheek, getting that warm fuzzy feeling when she nuzzles into it like she always has—like I’m her safe place. “Too far from you.” Pushing her hair over her shoulder, I let my hand fall to the small of her back. “You said you don’t know how to love people, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You might be afraid to tell people you love them, but you don’t lack in showing them. You don’t have to tell me you love me for me to know you do.”

If it took Joey fifty-years to tell me she loved me, I think I’d be okay with it. It’s not the words that mean much.

She listens as I continue through the things she mentioned in her voicemail. “You’re not broken, there’s nothing wrong with you, and you are what’s best for me. You woke me up, reminded me there’s life after death.” Joey’s bottom lip trembles, and she fights more tears. “I don’t want to go back to who I was before I met you. I can’t promise perfection, but I can promise to love you even on the hardest days. I can love you enough for the both of us.” Her tears spill over again, but I catch them with my thumb. “I’ve never done this whole being with someone thing… If anything, you’re more equipped for it than I am, but I will never let you feel unloved or forgotten, not for a fucking second.”

Joey slides her arms around me and rests her cheek against my chest again. I wrap her in a hug, resting my chin on the top of her head. We stay like this for a minute—Joey listening to my heartbeat, me twirling a piece of her soft hair through my fingers.

I don’t know what the future holds for us or my career. All I know is I want to figure it out with her. She’s the one I want to come home to after a long tour, or who I see standing in the wings on stage during a performance.

Joey’s the first real plan I’ve ever had.

She breaks our silence. “Thank you for coming after me. I promise I won’t make you do it again…” Joey pulls out of my embrace far enough to meet my eyes. She looks as tired as I feel. “But I do believe you deserve someone who⁠—”

“Joey, please enough of this what I deser⁠—”

She cuts me off with a soft kiss to my lips. When she pulls away—too quickly, might I add—I don’t even know what to say.

“Shut up. Please.” She musters a small smile.

Yes, ma’am. I do as she says, giving her a wink and a nod.

“Thank you.” Her arms rest on my shoulders, and she’s still close enough to lean in and kiss again.

My eyes bounce between hers, scanning her face. Her freckles have started to fade, popping more after some sunshine. She has her septum piercing flipped up, the two hoops in her nose have been black for a couple weeks, and her face might be a little puffy from crying, but she’s still the most beautiful woman to ever exist.

“You deserve someone who can tell you they love you, no matter how scary it is…” One of her hands runs up the back of my neck, nails skimming my skin. Her touch gives me goosebumps. “And I do. I have for a while.”

I don’t care how old I get, I’ll always remember the way Joey looked, how the light from her office created a halo effect around her, how her shoulders relaxed, and how she bit the inside of her cheek before saying, “I love you, West, and that terrifies me, but nothing scares me more than the idea of a life without you there to make me laugh.”

I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to describe the feeling I get from hearing those words from her. I could live to 500 and still never understand how I somehow managed to get this woman to fall in love with me, and I’m surely not going to try now.

I kiss Joey, and this one doesn’t end before it should. I hold her close and take my time. I kiss her like I was afraid of losing her, like I’d pictured her kicking me out the second she found me in here. I kiss her like I might never get to again, because life is short and unexpected, and I don’t want to waste a moment of it without Joey knowing how much I love her.

My hands slip under her oversized hoodie, meeting the exposed skin of her ribcage. I hum in approval at the realization she doesn’t have a bra on, forcing myself to keep my hands on her waist, happy to have the warmth of her skin on mine.

Our kiss comes to a natural end, and I can’t help but give her lips a couple more delicate pecks. “Mmm,” I murmur, looking at her swollen lips before meeting her eyes again. “Joey baby, I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

THE ONE WITHOUT HILDA

Second week of February

HexedHeroine posted a video: Haven’t been plowed yet, New England? Here are some book boyfriends (and even a few girlfriends) to keep you warm until the job gets done

Comment: All Hail Hex

Comment: Shhh everyone shut up my show’s on

WestParkerComedy commented: be right there

I worked from home today, avoiding the blizzard raging outside. We’ve got close to a foot over the last couple days and are expecting at least another foot throughout the next twenty-four hours.

Hilda came over for lunch, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but the conversation took a turn I hadn’t expected. After she left, I sat on my couch for close to an hour, attempting to reply to an email, until it was clear I wasn’t getting any more work done.