Page 38 of Back Outside Edge

After an endless three days of waiting, I’m at the Oakland airport. Evan wouldn't let me park in short-term parking, so I'm stuck at the cell-phone waiting area. Impatient. Foot tapping.

I should have waited longer before leaving. I was way too excited to do so.

Finally, the text comes through.

Evan

I'm here and have my luggage. There’s a 4 on a column near me. Is that enough to find me?

My heart gives an uncomfortable thud. Nerves? How am I more nervous about this than I was about my free skate at Worlds? It's just Evan, the sweetest, most accommodating man in the world. What do I have to be nervous about?

Him not wanting me back? Ok, yeah, there's that. But even if he doesn't, it's ok. My skating will improve. His skating will improve. We're friends. We can just hang out like friends do. It's really all I need.

Because what happens if he does want me back? We try to suffer through a long-distance relationship? We have to deal with competing when we're also together? Neither of those sounds like an ideal situation. So maybe it's better if he doesn't.

Except I really want him to.

And oh shit, there he is. His hair is more mussed than usual. He's been running his hands through it, trying to fix the damage the plane seat did. His gray t-shirt is rumpled. He's dodging people with the same grace that he dodges skaters with, even with a suitcase rolling behind him.

My heart thumps again.

I hadn't forgotten his grace. But I had underestimated its effect on me. The way his body moves, even here, nowhere near a rink, is nothing like anyone else. He has the fluidity of a cat and the light-footedness of a gazelle. All wrapped up in one perfect Evan package.

When he gets to the side of the road, directly underneath that 4, he starts glancing in cars, looking at drivers. Of course he is. He has no idea what car I drive. I'm being an asshole.

I pop out of my car, and his face lights up when he sees me. I can't help it. I slam the door behind me and race over to him, yanking him up in a hug before spinning us in a circle. Then, remembering where we are, I take a furtive glance around. No cameras that I can see, no cell phones pointed our way. But I let go of him anyway, because I can't be too careful.

"I can't believe you're here."

He's already laughing. Already stunning me with that gorgeous smile of his. "You'd better believe it, since I came all this way."

"How was your flight?" I'm trying to grab his suitcase from him, and he's not letting me. So I try to slide his backpack off his shoulders, and he laughs, spinning away from me.

"I've got it. Don't worry. Your car is like ten steps away."

"I know, I'm just so excited to see you. I'm so happy you're here."

His laughter dies out, and he meets my eyes. Suddenly grave. "I'm glad I'm here too. Thank you. Truly."

In answer, I give him another hug. Then start leading him toward my car. Once we've got his luggage sorted and he's in the passenger seat, I turn to him again. “I can’t believe I had this idea three days ago, and here you are!”

He looks suddenly unsure, as if reality is hitting him. “Is it too soon? It’s just my only time out of classes before the end of June.”

“No. Absolutely not. It’s perfect.” I’ve got him for three full days and a couple extra nights. I couldn’t be more excited about it. "Anything in particular you feel like doing first?"

Evan huffs out a laugh. "I have no idea. You're the local. Give me the tour."

"The tour, huh? Sure, we can do that."

"I didn't mean literally right this minute, just in general. Whatever you want to do." He sits back in his seat, and his eyes close for a moment.

The movement makes it obvious what we need to do. "How about we wait for the tour until another day. You're exhausted."

"I'm not," Evan replies, sounding affronted. "It wasn’t that long of a flight."

I'm willing to compromise. "Ok, sure, whatever you want to do, we'll do it."

"But I don’t know what I want to do." The laughter is back in his voice, and I'm thrilled by it. He has not, however, opened his eyes.