Page 24 of The Cost of Love

“How are you?” Her optimism shines through the line as she tries to make this talk friendly.

“Dierdre, what do you want?” I’m already tired of talking to her, despite the fact that we are just starting, I press my hand to my forehead in anticipation of my oncoming headache.

“I want to come see the kids.”

“No way in hell.” I try to keep quiet. Moving to the back of the room, I sit down on Gabby’s bed.

I wait for the pleas or the lies, or the gaslighting that she was never really that bad. I wait for her to tell me all of the reasons she thinks she deserves to be in their lives again.

“I’m sober. I’m better now.”

“Like that matters,” I whisper harshly. I clench my eyes, trying to keep in the frustration that instantly hits me when we do this. The tears still come, as memories of broken promises, days of abandonment, and heavy fists come to mind.

“You can’t keep my kids from me!” She is screaming like that will make a difference. Her anger is just one sign that she hasn’t really changed.

“Yes, I can, because I am their legal guardian.”

“For now. I’ll get my kids back.”

My stomach drops from the threat. The reality that my custody is temporary weighs heavily on my shoulders. They never fully stripped her of her rights, only removed the kids until she is able to get her act together. Little did they know, she never does, and she never will. Even when she isn’t shooting up or drinking, she is a dry drunk with all the anger and abuse.

“If I let you visit, will you let me keep them?” Bitterness coats the words, making them slimy as they leave my mouth. I hold my breath waiting for her answer, the weight of the silence weighing down my lungs.

“Depends. How much money you got?”

“Go to hell!” I yell, before hanging up and throwing my phone down on the mattress. The fact that she can be the type of mother she is and still get them burns in my heart until I have no choice but to rub my chest.

“Chanice?” Gabs knocks on the door before she opens it.

I quickly put a smile on my face, wiping away the last tear that escaped.

“Yeah?”

“It’s almost bedtime. Are you done in here?”

I look into her big brown eyes and see an innocence of someone who doesn’t remember the bad times. If I can, I will stop her from ever experiencing them.

“Yes, it’s all yours.” On my way past her, I wrap her in my arms, holding her like she might disappear.

When she gets tired of it, she pulls away from me and moves to grab her pajamas. I watch them all getting ready for bed, trying to capture this moment in my memory. Trying to keep them here with me for a moment longer. Like the minutes passing by, our time is fleeting. It’s all going to end soon.

Chapter 11

Alex

Elizabeth is absolutely stunning in her pink suit. The rose gold jewelry lies beautifully on the ivory top underneath, complementing the look. Her red hair is wavy and lying loose on her shoulders, framing her face. She is promoting a perfectly put-together image. One that would usually work in her favor.

It’s easy to see how men could fall for her. It would benefit me greatly if I did. Yet, her impeccable style is not enough for me to overlook the fact that our conversation feels rehearsed.

We talk about who we have in common, what we did in school, and what our future plans are. It feels more like I am sitting in an interview for the role of acceptable husband. By the time we get through the appetizers, I am over it all.

“Indulge me,” I say, laying my fork on my plate. “What would you do if there were no expectations of you?” It is the first question that goes against the grain of polite conversation. Asking her something that isn’t surface-level means she will have to dive deeper with me.

“What makes you think I am only doing what I do because it is expected of me?” She throws a surprising answer back, prompting me to take notice.

When she says it, she lifts one brow in question, while tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. The small smirk she gives me is enigmatic and full of all the wit and charm she possesses.

“So you are passionate about being a financial advisor in your family’s company?” Not buying it, I dare her to make her case.